Back to You
by SKDanielle16
Summary: Five years ago, Rose left Dimitri and their life in Baia behind. She ran off to America where she meets a new man to love and has made new friends. Unexpectedly, Dimitri has found his way back into her life, turning everything upside down. Will she be able to keep her distance or is Dimitri her fate? All human. Three-Shot. Rated M.
1. Part I

**Disclaimer: **Richelle Mead owns Vampire Academy

* * *

**Back to You**

_**5 Years Ago**_

"Please don't walk away, Roza."

Without another thought, I took one last look at the man I was certain was the love of my life and then reached down for my bags. The shakiness in his voice was almost enough for me to stay, to drop all my things, and throw myself into his arms, promising to never leave.

I opened my mouth, wanting to say everything that I was thinking, but all that came out was, "Goodbye, Dimitri."

And with that, I left.

_**Present Day**_

"Rose, wake up."

I groaned and pulled all the blankets up over my head before scooching as far away from the persistent voice beside me as possible. Just as I was able to relax again and slip back into whatever dream that had just been interrupted, the voice spoke again.

"Come on, Rose. I already let you sleep in."

Suddenly, the covers were yanked off of my lightly clothed body and a warm hand came down upon my cheek. Moments later, a kiss was pressed to my forehead, and then my lips.

"Not long enough," I complained before trying to reach for the blankets that were now gathered at my feet. I refused to open my eyes.

"It's 1 o'clock in the afternoon," he said, like it was supposed to mean something.

"What's your point?" I asked, just as my hand grabbed a hold of the blankets again. Victory was mine. Back to sleep it was…

"Nuh uh, come on." The blankets were yanked away again, despite the tight grip I swore I had on them. "We have a lot to do today. Look, I even went out and got you something."

I stilled and then peeked out from underneath my eyelids, curious.

He laughed and then placed the white bag on my stomach.

Damn it, he knew I wouldn't be able to resist. I already knew what was in the bag. Just seeing the logo told me all I needed to know. The bastard had gone to my favorite donut shop and brought me back my favorite.

"Ugh, you know I can't resist chocolate donuts. Damn you, come here," I surrendered and then pulled his face down to mine, placing a small kiss on his lips. I sat up then opened the bag, pulling out what was mine. I took a delicious bite. "Mmm. So good."

Before I could swallow, I was assaulted with another kiss. Adrian licked his lips before nodding, "Delicious."

As I finished up my donut, I took the time to appreciate the wonderful man in front of me.

There was a time in my life where I thought I'd never be able to love again, but here I was, shacked up no less, with my boyfriend, Adrian. We'd started seeing each other nearly a year ago after he started coming into where I worked. I had sworn he just really loved books..._like someone else I used to know_...but my best friend Lissa always insisted that he was just at the shop to see me.

I hadn't known she was right until he'd finally found the courage to ask me out for coffee.

_**1 Year Ago**_

"He's just another customer, Liss. Leave him alone." I pushed my best friend back a little, seeing as how she was seriously invading my personal bubble, whispering all types of nonsense into my ear about the guy who'd been perusing the architecture section.

"My my, someone's getting mighty defensive over just _another customer_," she teased before inching closer to me again.

Sighing, I blew the tendrils of hair that had fallen from my loose bun out of my eyes. "You're ridiculous, Lissa. Just because an attractive guy comes into the shop once a week doesn't mean he wants me. Maybe he wants _you_! Hell, maybe he wants Mason. You don't know what he likes. Now stop it," I whisper-yelled back before rolling my eyes. I stepped out from behind the counter and walked toward the back of the store. I needed a break from her pestering.

Five minutes later, I walked out of the break room with a drink in my hand and the chocolate donut that I had planned to save for after my shift. It was a really slow day, and I needed a pick me up.

I reached the counter again and started chowing down when I noticed the architecture guy staring straight at me. As if almost embarrassed from being caught, he quickly looked back at the books and then glanced over at me again a moment later before I decided it was time for myself to look away embarrassed.

I shook my head and then looked over at Lissa who was currently checking out a customer at the register a couple of feet away from me.

"Hi," a voice spoke suddenly.

Looking up quickly, I almost spit out my food when I noticed who it was. _Architecture guy_. Quickly swallowing, I cleared my throat and took a quick sip of my drink.

"Hello," I tried to give a friendly smile. I looked down at the book in his hands. "Are you ready to check out?"

Architecture guy gave a sheepish smile before answering, "Uh, not yet. I was actually hoping you could help me with something..."

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Lissa staring at the two of us. _Great_.

"Uh, sure," I hesitated. "What did you need?"

Lissa chuckled and I could only imagine what wild sexual things she was thinking of. His eyes darted over the Lissa quickly and then back to me. _Ugh, how embarrassing!_ I was going to give her _so_ much crap over this later.

"There's actually a book on the top shelf that I want, but I can't quite reach it."

"Oh yeah, I can help you with that. Just let me grab the ladder and I'll be right with you."

He nodded and then walked back to the books.

When he was out of earshot, I whipped my head to Lissa and shot her the ugliest glare I could muster. "See? Just. Another. Customer."

She shook her head whilst smirking. "Yeah, we'll see about that, Rose. His eyes followed you all the way to the break room earlier."

I rolled my eyes before opening up a cabinet between the two of us. "Yeah, whatever." I pulled out the small step ladder we used to reach books that were placed up too high to reach. Why we even had shelves so high was beyond me.

"Hey," Lissa laughed, putting both her hands up, "I'm just giving it back to you."

I shot her a look before shutting the cabinet. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You gave me so much crap over Christian before we started dating. I'm just giving you a little taste of your own medicine."

Before I could respond, she spanked my butt and then pushed me out from behind the counter and winked.

"It's about time you got some, Rose."

…

"Okay, so which one did you want?" I asked once I reached Architecture Guy again.

He pointed toward a book on the top shelf and then said, "The one that says _Contemporary Architecture_."

Nodding, I placed the ladder down and then stepped onto it. Pulling the book down from its spot, I looked it over in my hands before handing it over.

"So you're an architect?" I asked, curious. I eyed the other book in his hands, _Medieval Architecture_. _Yup, just asked the most obvious question_.

"Actually no," he explained, "it's for my friend, Sydney. She really loves this stuff, and her birthday's coming up and I wanted to get her something she'll like."

"Oh..." I trailed off before bending over to grab the ladder.

"She's just a friend though," he blurted before looking a bit like he was going to throw up. He reached for pocket in his coat almost like it was out of habit before awkwardly forcing his hand back to his side. He cleared his throat.

I wasn't sure what to say next, so I turned a heel to walk away. "Well, I'll be at the front if you need anymore help-"

As I started to walk away, his hand reached out and grabbed my wrist, holding me in place. I eyed him questioningly before taking in his features. I had never actually seen him this close before. Lissa was always the one to ring him up in the past, so I never truly looked him over. He had slightly tan skin, with messy brown hair and piercing green eyes that looked like emeralds. I swallowed heavily as the silence between us dragged on and then opened my mouth to speak, but he beat me to it.

"Listen, I-" he sighed and then released my wrist before scratching his neck. He shook his head. "Forget it. Can I just go ahead and buy these?"

A little shaken up and caught off guard, I looked down at the books in his hands and then blinked a couple times before nodding.

When we made it back up to the counter, I hadn't even scanned the books yet when the words just tumbled out of him.

"Would you want to get coffee with me sometime?"

I heard a gasp beside me, but chose to ignore it.

Despite all the denying I had done whenever Lissa brought him up, and despite the heavy feeling I had in the pit of my stomach at the thought of dating anyone else but _him_, a small smile spread across my face.

"Sure."

...

"Do you ever think back to the first time we met?" I asked as we walked around Home Depot looking for paint. I had only officially moved in with him about a month ago, so we had yet to decorate his place. He had insisted that once I had all my things unpacked that we should fix the place up a bit and make it a little more homey so we could invite some friends over as a sort of housewarming party.

I told him it made no sense, seeing as how he had already lived there for a while, but he shut me down and told me to just go along with it.

That was Adrian for you, always so grandiose and over the top. I adored it though. Where I was somewhat passive and low key, he was aggressive and full of life. He was always so passionate about everything. The minute an idea popped into his head, he had to do it, or have it, or accomplish it.

Plus, the place was also already damn near perfect. Adrian had a bit of money, both from his lineage and job, so his apartment was _very_ nice. The first time he had convinced me to let him take me up there, I had nearly stopped the intense make-out session we'd had all the way from the parking garage to the elevator to his door just to gawk at the place.

He eyed me carefully, "Why?"

"I just feel like I was so different back then...compared to now. Don't you think?" I gazed at him expectantly. Aside from Lissa, he was the closest person to me. Certainly he would've noticed the changes in me. I know Lissa had, we'd actually talked about it multiple times over the past year.

I had known Lissa since the first day I moved into the city. She actually lived in the building beside mine and we'd run into each other one day as I was on my way out. I'd accidentally bumped into her as I was looking down at my phone, deleting yet another message from _him_.

So she had known me at my worst and had told me multiple times that she was happy that I was finally happy.

Adrian stopped our cart in the middle of the aisle and faced me, a fierce look in his eyes. "You're just as breathtaking as the first time I laid eyes on you, which I might add was probably way before you even noticed me..."

I chuckled, "I don't mean physically, I mean personality wise-wait. What? When _was_ the first time you saw me?"

He smirked to himself like he was recalling the memory. "Well, I was with Syd, and you know how she is..." he trailed off. _I did know_. "We were walking around town, near your shop and she wandered in while I was getting a drink across the street. I went store to store looking for her until I found her buried in one of your books." He laughed.

"Architecture," we both said at the same time and shared a smile.

"So anyways, I find her and I'm about to get mad at her for not telling me where she went off to when I saw you."

"Go on," I urged.

"You were raging mad at a bitchy customer. I don't know what this woman said or did, but you looked like you were ready to throw down." He paused, "It was a huge turn on."

My mouth fell open and I gave him a playful shove. "Oh my God!" I laughed. "You're sick."

He continued, "Your hair was all over the place. It had fallen out of whatever half-assed attempt of a bun you'd done that day, and your lips were pouty, your brow furrowed right there." He ran his thumb on the spot just between my brows. "I was smitten ever since."

"God, my boyfriend's a creep," I teased. He faked a wounded look, and grabbed his chest like I'd stabbed him.

"Ouch."

I laughed, "You totally stalked me for a bit there. You're lucky I didn't have you arrested"

He shrugged. "I did what had to be done."

Grabbing him by the belt loops, I pulled him close to me and kissed him there in the paint aisle. Other customers be damned.

…

After Home Depot, we stopped at a few more stores before going back home. The minute we walked in the door, I dropped all the bags onto the floor except for one. Quickly heading over to the kitchen as my stomach grumbled, I tore the bag open and pulled out my tacos.

"Sweet heaven," I moaned after taking a bite. "All this shopping made me hungry."

"Hey, you better save some for me," Adrian called from the other room. I could hear him unbagging everything.

"I make no promises!" I called back, before unwrapping my second taco.

The two of us ate and then started going through all the things we had purchased today. We made it our goal to try and put everything out and then paint tomorrow.

I was just putting the finishing touches to the living room - fluffing the new pillows we'd just gotten and placing pictures into frames - when arms wrapped around my waist from behind.

Grinning, I swirled around and wrapped my arms around Adrian's neck.

"What are you doing?" I asked, smiling mischievously. It was then that I noticed he was shirtless. I laughed, "Where did your shirt go?"

"Same place as yours..." he smirked before giving me a suggestive look.

Before I could ask what he meant, he tugged my shirt over my head and tossed it on the floor.

I shed the rest of my clothes right there before letting him lead me to bed.

...

"Shit!" I cried, rushing out of the book shop before it got too late. Tonight was supposed to be our housewarming party and I had planned to get off work earlier so I could stop by the grocery store to get food to make for tonight.

I was no cook, but there were some foods that were so simple that not even I could screw them up.

"Shit, shit!" I repeated before driving away. It was already two hours until everyone was expected. Leave it to me to ruin tonight. I had promised and promised Adrian that I'd have the house set before he got home.

He was going to kill me.

Normally, running behind schedule wouldn't have been a big deal, but for whatever reason, Adrian decided that tonight would be a good time to introduce me to a couple of people from his firm. He worked for his father's company, though he'd rather quit and pursue his true calling, art.

He'd struggled with the decision of whether to leave his very well paying job to do something so risky, and had recently decided to put painting on the back burner, at least for a little while. _Until we got settled in_, he'd say. He knew I was completely supportive, but he had his own doubts. They were something I had yet to help him overcome… that and the pressure he was put under daily from his father.

I rolled my eyes at the thought of the wretched man before thanking God that he wasn't coming tonight.

Adrian promised it was just a few colleagues. His secretary and another man he was close to at the firm. He also promised I'd like them, and he knew me well, so I chose to trust him.

However, I didn't want to screw things up. I had to make a good impression.

"This damn light needs to hurry up and turn green!" I yelled to myself. When the light changed, I pressed the gas and sped all the way to the store.

…

I had just over forty minutes to finish everything up once I got home. Adrian hadn't texted yet, and it took him about half an hour to drive from his job so I knew I had at least a thirty minute window of time between when he texted and when they'd arrive.

I was ten minutes into boiling potatoes and cutting up some vegetables when the doorbell rang. I cursed for what felt like the millionth time today and then checked my phone. There was no text from Adrian so it couldn't be him.

I still had those thirty minutes, I reminded myself, hoping that his phone hadn't died on him. If this was them, then I was _so_ screwed.

Opening the door, I breathed a huge sigh of relief before waving them in.

"You guys have no idea how happy I am that you're not Adrian." I rushed back into the kitchen.

"What, you guys already at each other's throats? It's only been a month of living together, Rose," Christian taunted before pulling up a stool to the marble island in the middle of the kitchen. He gestured for Lissa to sit before grabbing one for himself.

"Ha ha," I deadpanned. "No, I'm just running really late and Adrian invited people from his firm so I'm kind of freaking out." I wiped the sweat dripping down my face.

At that very moment, my phone pinged. _Adrian was on his way home_.

"Shit, that's him. They're on their way. I haven't finished dinner and I still need to shower. Shit, shit, shit." I eyed the potatoes, which were almost done boiling. Just needed to add butter, salt, and pepper before mashing those. I pursed my lips before opening the oven.

Christian laughed. "Is that a pre-made rotisserie chicken?"

"Fuck off, I was in a hurry. Not all of us are professionals like you."

Lissa shoved Christian before standing up and putting her hands on my shoulders in an effort to relax me. "Go shower, Rose. Get ready quick. We've got this."

"Are you sure?" I asked, begging her with my eyes and everything in me to please take care of dinner.

She nodded. I barely made it to my room when I heard her tell Christian, "Get off your ass and help me with these veggies."

…

With just a couple minutes to spare, I made it out of my bedroom, dressed and styled. I left my hair down because it was still a bit wet, and I knew it would curl nice. I had done my makeup in a simple style, just a little mascara, eyeliner, and chapstick.

For clothing, I had chosen some dark denim skinny jeans, tan heeled booties, and a fitted wool green sweater that complimented my olive skin tone.

"Just in time," Lissa stated, gesturing to the plates she had set up on the dining table. I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her cheek.

"I owe you big time," I promised, before checking on what they had done with the food. True to her word, Lissa had cut the chicken and mashed the potatoes. Christian made some kind of gravy and sauteed the vegetables.

No one would've guessed the meal was half store bought and had been prepared in under an hour.

The jingle of a key at the front door, pulled me out of my thoughts and I straightened myself up before glancing over at Lissa and Christian, who had both seemed to do the same.

I let go of the breath I didn't even notice I was holding when just Adrian walked through the door.

"What happened?" I asked, sounding relieved. "Did they change their minds? Is it just you?"

He shook his head negatively. "No, they're parking. I told them I needed to rush up to change real quick." He noticed my stress and the tension in my shoulders. "Relax," he encouraged before running his thumb over the spot between my brows, smoothing the skin.

I followed him into the bedroom as he changed. A moment later, I could hear more voices in the other room, but a quick listen told me it was just more of our friends.

"It's just the two people coming right? Your secretary and your other colleague?" I wanted to know all the details again so I could be as prepared as possible.

"No, actually," he explained, "I told them they could bring whoever they wanted so there's three of them."

"Oh yeah?" My nerves were rising. I wasn't expecting a third person I had to try and impress.

He nodded. "Yeah, my secretary, Tasha, brought her boyfriend I think."

"You think?" I mindlessly babbled, carrying on the conversation though my mind was a frazzled mess.

"I mean, she hasn't confirmed anything, but I think they're dating. I don't know. You can tell she-"

A knock at the door interrupted his train of thought as he finished straightening up the sweater he had changed into.

Lissa peeked her head in and whispered. "Hey Adrian, your guests are at the door."

He chuckled. "You don't have to whisper, Lissa, it's not like they can hear you."

She blushed and then shrugged while looking at me. "Rose, it'll be okay. Plus Mason and Eddie are here now and they'll keep the conversation flowing. No reason to feel nervous."

Letting out a big breath, I grabbed Adrian's hand and squeezed. "We can do this. It's just a housewarming party."

"Exactly, Rose, plus you know I'll be out of that firm soon enough anyways. Don't sweat it." After his words of reassurance, he led me out to the living room where I stayed behind to talk with Mason and Eddie while Adrian got the door.

While joking with them about how much of a mess I was just twenty minutes before, three new figures entered the room.

Natasha, Adrian's secretary, who I recognized from the many times I had stopped by to take him lunch at work, his colleague, whose name I wasn't sure of, and…

_Fuck. _

My heart dropped to my belly and my mouth suddenly felt dry. I struggled to breathe as my palms started to sweat uncontrollably.

The shock in his eyes must have mirrored my own because there was no way in hell either one of us had expected for this to happen. In a twist of fate, the man I had run away from five years ago was now standing inside my apartment, the apartment I shared with my new boyfriend.

_Dimitri. _

…

Everyone sat at the dinner table, eating and making small talk, while I stayed unusually quiet.

I knew Adrian could sense something was wrong, but I think he had chalked it up to my nervousness. He had initially tried to keep me in the conversation but I think from my lack of response, he could tell I wasn't up for talking and had eventually left me alone.

Lissa, who was seated next to me, reached for my hand underneath the table. I looked up from my full, uneaten plate and into her jade-colored eyes.

"Are you okay?" She asked, with a worried look on her face.

Pulling my hand away gently, I cleared my throat and nodded. I needed to pull myself together. I was okay, I tried to remind myself. It's been 5 years. 5 whole years. _You're fine_.

I lifted my fork and started to take a few small bites, hoping the food would calm me somehow.

Daring to finally look up from my plate, my eyes met another pair from across the table. Almost immediately, I looked down again. _Jesus_.

_What was he doing here?_ The last time I had seen him, he was still living back home. I hadn't heard from him over text or anything in a while. He persisted the first year after I'd left, but eventually stopped texting me as much. I honestly thought I'd never see him again..._but here he was, in my damn home_!

"-Rose?"

A gentle nudging from Adrian lifted me from my thoughts as I realized someone was talking to me.

Adrian interjected, "Natasha was just saying how nice the apartment looks."

"Oh, thank you," I responded politely, keeping my eyes locked on Tasha's. I could feel his eyes on me from where he sat beside her, but I refused to let my gaze drift over him.

"You should've seen how plain it was before I convinced her to move in," Adrian explained, reaching for my hand to hold on the table. He rubbed his thumb over my knuckles and then pulled it to his mouth for a small peck. No doubt he could feel the slight tremor from my nerves and the sweat dripping from my palm. He didn't let his worry show though, and instead kept the conversation going. _Probably for my sake_. "We actually _just_ fixed the place up a bit. Well, mainly Rose did. She has a knack for making things look better."

"Yeah, you included," Christian mumbled from beside Lissa. She nudged him for making such a comment in front of Adrian's colleagues, but he just laughed.

A smile crossed Adrian's lips. "I'd have to agree," he remarked before pulling my hand to his lips again.

"How long have you two been together?" asked a rigid voice from the other side of the table.

Squeezing Adrian's hand a bit, I dared to finally let my eyes fall on him. His eyes dug holes into my own as he stared back at me fiercely.

"About a year," Adrian answered, looking at me fondly. Dimitri didn't pull his gaze away from me. I found myself unable to look away either. "It would've been longer, but it was weeks before I could work up the courage to ask her out."

I could hear Christian chuckle from the other side of Lissa.

Lissa nodded, "It was _so_ obvious to everyone at the book shop. Well, everyone except Rose. I swear, Adrian would walk in and everyone would place bets on whether or not he was finally going to talk to her that day."

Mason nodded. "Lissa was practically paying my bills," he joked, thinking about all the times he'd won those bets.

Finally, I was able to tear my eyes away from the man at the table and let laughter fall from my lips. "Seriously you guys?"

"Sorry about that, Liss," Adrian apologized amusingly.

"No worries, I'm just glad my best friend's happy." She smiled at me and I knew she meant every word. I smiled back, but any words I had planned to say fell short at the comment that came from across the table.

"I see," Dimitri said bluntly before conversation carried on. No one seemed to catch the bitter undertone in his words, but I heard it clear as day.

Lissa had been right, there was hardly a lull in chatter as Mason and Eddie chatted up nearly everyone constantly. I was finally able to enter the conversation after that, so long as I didn't talk to Dimitri directly. Even then, I was able to learn a bit about what had happened between our last encounter and now.

According to Natasha - Tasha - Dimitri had just moved here and they'd met each other through mutual friends. You could tell she was very interested in him by the small touches she kept placing on his shoulder whenever she spoke about him and the way she gazed at him from beneath her lashes. I was certain that I must've looked at him that way at one point.

Before I knew it, everyone was finished eating, and we were thankfully saying goodnight to everyone at the door.

Lissa and Christian had left first because they both had work in the morning, followed by Eddie and Mason, who both said they needed to catch the end of whatever game was playing. Now it was just the five of us.

_It's almost over. You can go back to your life and never see him again_.

"Thanks for tonight, Rose," Tasha said as she grasped both of my hands. Adrian was speaking to his other colleague, whose name I had already forgotten shamefully through all the chaos of tonight. Dimitri stood just behind her, watching the two of us intently.

"Of course, thank you for coming tonight. It was nice to actually meet you finally," I said sincerely.

"Likewise! Next time you stop by the office, you must say hello."

I nodded. "Will do, and thank you for the bottle of wine. It's Adrian's favorite."

"Of course. We'll see you soon," she smiled and then stepped back.

Then, in a move I hadn't expected, Dimitri put his hand out as if to shake my hand. Staring at the outreached hand with hesitation, I eyed him carefully and then reached my own hand out to shake his.

He mumbled a mere, "Rose," and then pulled his hand back. He gave me a pointed look as I noticed the tiny slip of paper he'd secretly stuffed into my hand. Suddenly feeling very uncomfortable, I stuck my hand into my pocket and hid the note there in the meantime.

Adrian returned to my side and shook Dimitri's hand as well and said something to Tasha about seeing her tomorrow morning.

And then they were gone, leaving me, Adrian, and the note in my pocket all alone.

…

_For when you're ready_, the note said. Along with a phone number written just underneath it.

Crumbling it up, I quickly threw it away in the trash before Adrian saw it. He would've been so pissed. Not only that another man had given me his number, especially after they'd sat at our dinner table, but also that I hadn't mentioned anything about knowing him.

_If he only knew_.

…

Two weeks went by and things were finally feeling normal again. Time passed as usual and there were no differences except the tight feeling I had in the pit of my stomach, but luckily that was finally subsiding and life was rolling on.

I was half-way through a personal pizza that I'd heated up in the oven when there was a knock at the door.

Checking the time on my phone, I scrunched up my face in confusion. It was still early in the day, just past noon. There was no way Adrian was done at the office already.

Pursing my lips, I got up from the sofa and paused the movie I had started. Unlocking the door quickly, I swung it open and nearly shut it again once I saw who was waiting. In fact I tried, but his shoe stopped the door from slamming.

"Roza."

I cringed at the sound of his name for me escaping his lips. No one had called me that in years.

"What are you doing here?" was all that I could say. I crossed my arms and gave him the most composed look I could muster.

"Did you read my note?"

I scoffed at the notion that he'd think I would actually use the number. "Yes, I did, and it went straight into the trash. What did you expect? I'm with Adrian now," I explained, though he already knew that.

He growled and then took a step inside before I could stop him. I backed up to avoid skin contact and he shut the door behind him. The noise of the door shutting pulled me out of my shock.

"No no no, what are you doing? You can't be here. I live with Adrian here." I tried reaching for the door to make him leave but he blocked me.

"He's at work right now," Dimitri said, like it made everything okay.

"How do you even know that?"

"Tasha," was all he said.

I scoffed. "That girl is head over heels for you. I'd hardly think she'd be giving you information about your _ex _and her_ boyfriend_ -who she works for - if she knew any better." I spat at him. When he didn't respond, I continued defiantly, "Speaking of Tasha, go be with her and leave me _alone_."

I placed my hands on his chest and tried to push him away, skin contact be damned. _He needed to leave_.

In a move I probably should've seen coming, he caught both of my hands and kept them pinned to his chest.

"Dimitri-" I started.

"If you think _anyone_ could hold a candle to you..." he trailed off, his eyes staring deeply back into mine as a shiver spread through my whole body. I swallowed thickly under his gaze. A photo of Adrian and I hanging on the wall caught my eye briefly before I started to fight again. I struggled to free my hands, but he didn't let up.

"I don't want _Natasha_," he spat her name, "I don't want anyone else but you."

Sighing, I stopped struggling and lowered my voice. "Dimitri, it's been five years. Surely you've moved on by now. I have. I'm in love with Adrian."

He stayed silent for a moment, pondering the words I'd just said.

"Did you tell him about me?"

He caught me off guard with that question, "What? No, of course not."

"Then we still have a chance."

I laughed incredulously. "No, we don't," I insisted before finally ripping my hands away. "I had all the time in the world to go back to you after I left, but I didn't, Dimitri. Doesn't that tell you something? I wasn't happy anymore. I still loved you, but I wasn't happy." I could see his face falling as I spoke. A part of me, the part of me that still longed for him (and probably always would because he was my first love) felt bad, but he needed to get this through his thick head. "You texted me for years afterward. Did I ever respond?"

We both knew the answer to that.

Despite the hurt I could see in his beautiful chocolate eyes, he persisted. "You were angry at me, Roza, and scared. I know that. I hurt you, and I'll never be able to take back what I did, but you have to know that I could _never_ love another woman after you," he paused before searching my eyes for any type of reaction. I wasn't sure what he found in them, if anything. "I am yours," he said, like it was the simplest thing in the world.

I sighed loudly.

Dimitri certainly had a way of vocalizing his love and devotion. It was one of the reasons it was so hard for me to bulk up the courage to leave in the first place. I had wanted to _so_ many times in the last months of our relationship, but his words and his passion for me were always enough to stop me...except when they weren't anymore.

I reached for his hand and held it in my own, trying to ignore the warm feeling that overtook my whole body when our skin touched. _After all this time, it was still there._

"But I'm not yours," I said sadly. "Not anymore, Comrade." We both flinched at my old nickname for him. "We were too broken. There was no way to come back from that." He flinched again as we both thought about what had destroyed us.

"I was an idiot, Roza. It was all a mistake." I flinched. This was something I didn't want to talk about, but the words were out before I could stop them.

"You showed up drunk to my father's funeral," I cried. Almost immediately after, I covered my mouth with my hand. I hadn't meant to say that. _Damn my self control. _The tears started falling before I could stop them.

Dimitri looked so ashamed. "I know," he paused. "I know."

Everything that was hidden away inside of me was bubbling at the surface.

"I know that I pushed you away when he died, but that didn't give you the right! How could I ever forgive you for that? You made a spectacle of yourself and I spent the whole night keeping you under control when I was a complete mess. I should've been mourning the most important man in my life, but you made that day about _you_. It should've been _you_ taking care of _me_."

The sobs came pouring out of me. This was something I had never directly said to him, but God, had I felt it so strongly. It was the downfall of everything we had built all those years ago. From that day on, I started pulling myself away from him.

My father had just died, and I had already felt like a shell, so the rest just came naturally. He had apologized day after day, but nothing was ever the same. A part of me resented him, and even though I loved him, there was no coming back from that.

"I know, Roza. God, I know. I just didn't know what to do. You were hanging on by a thread, and you'd already started pushing me away. You wouldn't let me hold you or even touch you. I didn't know how to react, so I went to the bar with Ivan the night before and I was still drunk in the morning. I'm so sorry, you know how much I want to take it all back. You have to know," he insisted, and I did know. He had explained this all to me before, but it was never enough.

I was still sobbing when his arms wrapped around me. It felt like deja vu, the familiar scent of his aftershave, the way his chest rose in sync with mine and the way my body seemed to fit perfectly in his embrace.

I was ashamed to admit that a part of me didn't fight back because it felt nice to have him hold me. We had so much history, albeit one wrapped in hurt and betrayal, and a part of me had missed him, but that was no excuse.

Allowing myself one last minute of comfort, I finally pulled away and wiped at my eyes. His lips brushed against my forehead and I knew this was it.

"You have to go now," I stated plainly, looking at the door behind him.

"Rose," he protested. "I'm so sor-"

"Enough," I stopped him. "It's too much right now._ This is too much_..." Sighing loudly, I paused and then let my eyes explore his face for a moment before finding the right words. "You've already apologized for this, more times than I can even remember. Nothing's changed."

Walking around him, I opened the door and gestured for him to leave.

"I said my goodbyes five years ago, and now, you just got the chance to say yours. Now, please, let me be."

He let out a sigh before joining me in the doorway. "I meant everything I said today, Roza. I truly hope you know that."

All I could do was nod and then close the door behind him after he left.

I leaned against the door and then slid down until I reached the floor, needing a couple minutes to compose myself. So much had happened in the past few weeks; it was all very overwhelming. The unexpected return of Dimitri and the memories that were tied up with him felt like they were crashing into me like a freight train.

After what could've been five minutes or five hours, I finally stood and returned to my spot on the sofa.

I looked at the food in front of me.

"Damn it, now my pizza's cold."

…

When Adrian got home, he could tell something was wrong. It had been hours, but I was still sitting on the couch, this time eating microwavable corn dogs. I hadn't changed out of my pajamas either and my eyes were still puffy from all the tears I shed earlier.

Instead of wandering into our bedroom to change out of his suit into more comfortable clothes - a routine he had done every day once home from work - he just loosened his tie and came to sit beside me.

He sat silently watching me eat for a moment and then pulled me into his arms. When I started crying again, he pulled the corn dog from my hand and set it back down on my plate.

Adrian wiped at my wet eyes and kissed me gently. "What's wrong, Rose? You've got to tell me so I can help you."

When I stayed silent, he hugged me tighter and brushed my hair down with his fingers for a couple moments before pulling back to look at me.

"You haven't been yourself the past few weeks." _I guess I hadn't hidden it as well as I thought_.

Sniffling, I looked into his eyes. He had never seen me like this before. I was a bit more timid when we'd first met, due to the fact that I was afraid to let anyone but Lissa get close to me after all that I'd been through. As we grew closer and fell in love, I opened myself up to him immensely and he had seen the real me, but I had yet to really cry in front of him. Especially not like _this_.

"My father is dead," I cried before burying my face into my greasy corn dog hands. My shoulders shook uncontrollably as I said it over and over again. This was the mourning I hadn't done all those years ago. I had kept it inside this whole time, and now that it was out, there was no putting it back in. "My father is dead," I repeated once more. _And the man I used to love so much it hurt was back._

"What happened?" Adrian asked, pulling my hands away from my face and trying to calm me down. He pulled his phone out from his pocket, typing something quickly. "Do I need to book us plane tickets? What do you need?"

I shook my head sadly. "No, we don't need to go anywhere."

He put his phone down, and looked at me questioningly.

"He's been dead for five years," I explained. His face softened. "I just never really dealt with it until now. I'm sorry," I apologized after examining his business attire, which was now completely drenched in snot and tears.

He chuckled, but not in a way that said he found humor in any of this. "Don't ever apologize for something like this, Rose. I love you, and I'm here for anything you need." He paused. "I know you have a hard time opening certain parts of yourself up to me, but I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. I'm in this for the long haul."

Nodding, I wrapped my arms around his waist and snuggled really close into him. "Thank you, Adrian. And I love you, too."

As I sat there in his embrace, I found myself comparing who I was with him, and who I was with Dimitri.

Things really _had_ changed over the past couple years. I had changed and so did the way I saw things. A couple years back, I wasn't sure if I would've been able to turn Dimitri down so easily. If he had shown up at my doorstep then, confessing his unwavering love for me and apologizing as sincerely as he had, I probably would've broken down like I had in the past. We would've been forever stuck in the endless cycle of me resenting him until things got really bad, then him reminding me of all that I loved about him- about us - until the resentment reared its ugly head again.

The distance I had placed between the two of us was the only thing that kept me above water. I knew the day I left that I had to move away. I couldn't stay in the same city, in the same neighborhood. Because if I had, he'd convince me to never leave.

_It was the right thing to do, _I reminded myself. And I was right too. Look at where it had gotten me. I was in a healthy relationship, one that was uncomplicated, and I was able to find love again.

But now, with the return of my past, things felt so unresolved.

I had run away from it all, and now I was finally dealing with the grief. So far, Adrian was doing his job as my boyfriend remarkably better than Dimitri had back then, but would he stick around when I told him the full truth regarding my ex?

I couldn't keep that a secret forever, especially not if Dimitri was here to stay.

_**End of Part I**_

* * *

_**A/N: **_This is Part I of a three part story. I already have the rest written so I'll probably upload those with a week in between each upload. To my chapter readers of Be Safe, My Love and Point of No Return, don't worry, I should have those updated soon. I'm focusing more on BSML just because it's older and I want to finish that up, but rest assured, I am also working on the next chapter for PONR too. I just get so inspired by side projects like this one, so I have to get them out while I'm at it.

I hope you enjoyed this! Buckle in and get ready for the ride. Chapters 2 and 3 are both longer than this one, so get ready. Thanks for reading, and please let me know what you think :)


	2. Part II

**Disclaimer: **Richelle Mead owns Vampire Academy

* * *

_**8 Years Ago**_

"Remind me again why you won't date me, Roza."

I looked at my good friend Dimitri with a judgmental expression on my face.

He was being chummy with me like usual, but I also knew he was being sincere.

His playful smile began to fall as the moment grew serious.

I sighed. "You know why."

He took a long sip from his beer and then set it back down onto the iron table. We were celebrating my 18th birthday in the backyard of his home in Baia, just the two of us.

We had already gone through what was left of the vodka and had since then moved onto beer. I was thankful for that. It was much easier for me to stomach.

"My mother already thinks we're dating."

My expression softened. "Olena doesn't know me like you do."

It was the truth. He knew all of me. All of my insecurities and fears. First and foremost that I was scarred from witnessing the disastrous dissolution of my parent's relationship. It was the main reason I was so reluctant to let anyone in. I was scared of getting hurt again. In addition, I was worried about hurting someone else because of my shortcomings. I considered myself ruined, unable to properly make someone else happy.

"You think she wouldn't approve?" Deep down, I knew what I was saying was utter nonsense. His mother loved me and I knew she would've been happier than ever to hear he'd finally been able to convince me to be his. But still, I was stubborn.

I frowned, taking a swig from my own drink. "I think if she knew how many times I've turned you down already, she'd tell you I'm not good enough."

Dimitri gathered my hands in his, holding them tightly. He brought them up to his mouth and blew hot air onto them. It was especially cold in Russia this time of year. He hated that I always insisted on going without gloves.

"You are, Roza."

I pulled my hands away, cradling them to my chest. He was wrong. I would destroy him, much like my mother had done to my father.

It was better off this way. To avoid it altogether. I didn't want to hurt him. And I never would if we just didn't date. It didn't matter how strongly I felt about him.

"Dimitri, I can't." Underneath my breath, I muttered, "No matter how much I want to."

The wind chose that moment to die down. I hadn't intended for him to hear, but he did.

He got down to his knees. They slushed into the snow. His jeans would be ruined, completely soaked in a matter of moments, but from his expression, he couldn't care less.

"You love me too. I know you do."

I searched his eyes. The alcohol was making me much more vulnerable than I usually was. I knew I couldn't keep up this jig for much longer. He was breaking down my barriers brick by brick and we both knew it.

Over time, my feelings for him grew deep. He loved me longer than I loved him but my feelings were now just as strong.

We'd known each other for years through his younger sister, Viktoria. We became friends. Under the guise of that, we spent most of our time together, learning everything about each other. We grew close, but hadn't acted on our feelings because of my hesitance.

He began pushing me gently with little actions. It began first with holding my hand for a moment too long. Then, kissing my cheek when we'd part.

When he couldn't take it anymore, he asked me to agree to a date. I wouldn't. He knew why I wouldn't, so he persisted. I was the one for him, he was certain of it, so he wasn't afraid of the challenge...or so he'd told me.

My lip quivered uncontrollably before my head hung in admission.

"I do."

Dimitri's lips curved upward into a huge smile.

"So then say you'll be mine. I promise you, we will make it, Roza."

I searched his eyes for any sign of doubt, but there wasn't any. Our fates rested on me. "I'm afraid."

"Everyone's afraid of something. Let me show you. Let me prove it to you. We can make it."

He leaned forward until his lips whispered past mine. It was like every worry in my body faded away. I suddenly didn't know why I was so afraid. This was Dimitri. I knew him better than anyone. He wouldn't lie to me.

When he pulled away, I fisted his shirt in my grasp and then pulled him back down. I kissed his lips fiercely, sinking into him _finally_.

I trusted him more than I trusted anyone.

Against his lips, I spoke just one word.

"Okay."

_**Present Day**_

"Hey Rose, isn't that Tasha's boyfriend?"

Looking up from _Glazed_, a book about the history of donuts, I frowned.

"Where?" I asked Lissa, who was standing beside me. It had just started pouring rain outside a couple minutes earlier and because the bookshop was located at a busy shopping square, a horde of people flooded in for a reprieve from the storm. Because of that, it was uncharacteristically loud and busy in here.

"Right there", she pointed. When I caught sight of him, I put her arm down before he saw and then sunk down into my seat. Lissa gave me a funny look.

"He's actually quite handsome, isn't he?" She observed as she looked him over. "Tasha's got good taste," she joked before I shot her a glare. "Sheesh, what's your problem? Forget to pack your donuts this morning?"

"For your information, Lissa, no, I didn't forget to pack my donuts. In fact, I've already had two," I whisper-yelled bitterly, which only made her more amused.

"Okay, then what's your deal? Been a couple days since you and Adrian-"

"Shush!" I chided and then peeked up from over the counter.

Dimitri stood near the door, shaking off his jacket a bit. He was alone, and completely drenched. His shoulder length hair that I used to love was tied at the nape of his neck and little strands here and there were stuck to his face. His clothes practically clung to him and I took a second to notice that he had not let his body go one bit.

Flashes of his bare body hovering over me as he whispered all the things he was going to do to me entered my mind before I shook my head and pulled my eyes away.

Lissa wasn't lying. _He _was_ still very handsome._

Groaning to myself, I shut my book and banged my head on the counter a little too hard.

Odds are, these people were going to stay inside until the rain let up, and one glance outside was all it took to see that it wasn't going to stop anytime soon. The sky was a dark gray and thunder pounded in the distance.

_Great_.

…

A good half an hour had passed, and he still hadn't noticed me. Probably thanks to the fact that I hadn't moved an inch from the spot I was in, which kept me out of view until you stood straight in front of the counter.

I knew I was pushing my luck, but I dared another peek just to keep track of where he was.

It took a minute for me to find him. My eyes searched through the store and stopped when I found him seated on a couch, reading a paperback. By the looks of it, he was already more than a couple pages in. _Figures_.

He used to fly through those old paperback Westerns like they were nothing...

"_I swear that's the third time I've seen you read that one this month," I teased before kissing Dimitri's cheek as I passed by his side of the bed. He dog-eared the page and shut the book, flashing me a small smile._

"_It's one of my favorites, Roza." He placed the book down on the bedside table and then moved the covers down on my side of the bed, gesturing for me to lay down beside him._

_He didn't have to tell me twice._

_He watched me intently as I slipped my bra off from underneath one of this big shirts that I wore to sleep in. Once comfortable, I hopped into bed and giggled as his arms engulfed me the moment I was under the covers._

"_Mmm," he sighed contently, kissing me on the forehead. "I could do this for the rest of my life."_

_I snuggled in closer to him. "So do it," I said playfully._

_His eyes searched mine for a brief moment. "I'm serious, Roza." The playful tenor of his voice was now gone. His whole demeanor had changed from teasing to thoughtful. He seemed to be waiting for me to respond._

"_What are you saying?" I asked, trying to hide the nervousness in my voice. This wasn't the first time we had talked about the future. But if he meant what I thought he did, it was going to be the first time we'd seriously discussed taking our relationship to the next level._

_He had been very patient with me thus far. I was only eighteen when we first started dating, and was now twenty-one. Over the course of those three years he'd been very patient with me and had somehow even convinced me to move in with him after one._

_Dimitri was older than I was so the concepts of living together and marriage were not crazy notions to him anymore. For me, it was somewhat different._

_The only relationship I'd ever seen as an example had failed miserably. The divorce of my parents had torn my family apart when I was a mere 9 years old, and the fear of making their same mistakes had stuck with me after all this time. _

_The idea of becoming my mother in particular terrified me. My father? Not so much. As far as I had seen it, he was the innocent one. They were never very vocal about the reasons behind their divorce, but I got the impression that it was my mother's choice that had ultimately led to the end of their relationship. It was the reason we didn't get along. It was the reason I practically worshipped my father while I despised my mother._

_Dimitri knew all of this, of course. We had talked about it before and from then on he knew better than to push me into things unless he knew deep down that I was ready._

_Dimitri's hand came up to rest on my cheek. He caressed my lips with his thumb before opening his mouth to speak._

_Unfortunately, whatever he was about to say was left on his lips because at that moment, my phone rang. _

_The moment lost, I shifted toward the bedside table where my phone was charging. It was my father._

_After accepting the call, I lifted the phone up to my ear. "Hey Dad," I said casually. It wasn't out of the ordinary for him to call before going to sleep. He liked to check on me. That was another reason I had a better relationship with him than my mother. He actually kept up with my life. I was lucky if my mom and I spoke once a month._

"_Rosemarie," the person said on the other line. My brow furrowed._

"_Mom? Where's Dad? Why do you have his phone?" Dimitri watched me intently, worry evident on his face._

"_Rosemarie, I have some bad news..."_

The intrusion of that particularly bad memory brought me to my feet. I glanced at Lissa beside me briefly before mumbling that I was going to take a break.

My feet carried me to a nearby shelf and out of sight.

Once alone, I leaned against the shelf and closed my eyes, cursing.

The clearing of a throat brought me out of my temporary breakdown. The first thing my eyes came across when they opened was the sign saying that I stood in the fiction section. Just underneath that, it read _Westerns_.

Dimitri stood to my left. The book he'd been thumbing through earlier was in his hands. My eyes skimmed the cover and I realized it was the same book he'd been reading all those nights ago.

"Still one of your favorites I take it," I said, not really sure why. I think I had just wanted to fill the silence and focus on anything but the memories.

"You remember," he said plainly, putting the book back on the shelf.

I nodded, the nerves still pulsating through me. After a moment's silence, I followed up with, "I couldn't forget even if I tried."

A look I couldn't quite distinguish passed Dimitri's face, before his eyes moved over my body. His gaze rested on my clenched fist.

"What's wrong?" He took a step closer. He was close enough that I felt his breath on my skin.

I laughed nervously, avoiding the question. "_And_ still reading me like an open book," I joked lamely.

"_Rose_..." he warned. I knew that tone of voice. It said, _stop messing around. Be serious_.

I continued rambling, purposefully dodging the question. "It's some kind of sick joke isn't it? That of all the places you could walk into, you walk in here. It's like the world is conspiring against me." That last part was more to myself than him. "Stupid rain..."

"I didn't know this was the bookshop you worked at," he explained, placing his hands on my shoulders. I didn't fight the contact. "I would've gone next door had I known. You made it pretty clear that you wanted your space the other day." His hands moved higher to cup both of my cheeks. He stared straight into my eyes as if to show me he was being sincere. "The last thing I'd want to do is barge in on you again." And he did sound sincere, but I knew better than to take his words as an admission of defeat. Just because he didn't want to crowd me didn't mean that he had given up. _I am yours_, he had said.

"That wouldn't have worked out well for you," I said, choosing to respond to the lighter stuff. When he looked at me strangely, I informed him that the store next door only sold lingerie.

Slowly, a smile spread across his face. The edges of his lips curled upward first, followed by the crinkling of the skin around his eyes. A hearty laugh escaped his lips and it was like all the tension left my body.

My eyes lingered on his mouth a little too long and flashback of how his lips felt against mine ran through my mind. I hadn't realized it at first, but we'd unintentionally leaned in closer to each other. His thumbs rubbed back and forth over the apples of my cheeks. We were so close I could feel his breath on my skin.

It was then I noticed that the bookshop had quieted down. The pounding of rain on the roof had stopped, and the bell on the front door rang in the distance as people shuffled out, or so I assumed, because I couldn't see from where I stood.

I covered his hands with my own and slowly removed them from both sides of my face, releasing them once they were back at his side.

The moment was over.

…

"I'll see you later, Rose," Lissa called as she waved and left the store.

Now that her shift had ended, I was alone. There was still two hours left until I could go home. Today was Sunday so we closed a bit earlier, and I was thankful for that, especially because business was extremely slow today.

When the rain stopped, it was like everyone filed out one by one. We hadn't seen a customer since so I was extremely bored, and it was getting harder and harder for me to not think about what had happened today, from the momentary breakdown to the encounter with Dimitri.

After all that, I was ready to just settle into bed, snuggle up to Adrian, and watch a movie.

Smiling as I pictured my plans for later, I went to the system that controlled the music playing overhead and turned it up louder. When the shop was pretty dead and I was alone, I liked to blare the music and sing along.

With nothing else to do but wait, I went over to the little reading nook area that had a couple of couches and tables and started fluffing out the pillows and wiping the tables down. After that, I wandered around the store and started straightening out the shelves, fixing books that were out of place or knocked over.

When I reached the western section, I easily found the paperback Dimitri had been reading. I examined the cover and then started flipping through the pages. Clutching the book to my chest, I pondered over what had happened earlier.

"_You should probably go," I whispered, swallowing thickly. The moment may have been over, but this beautiful man was still standing in front of me with those gorgeous eyes of his._

_Not only did I feel guilty for allowing myself this moment with Dimitri when I loved Adrian now, but I also felt like I was betraying the memory of my father for joking with the man that disrespected his memory in the harshest way. _

_The reminder of that harshened my exterior and I took a step back._

_Dimitri's face sharpened and the smile on his face fell. _

_He nodded once. "If that's what you want," was all he said._

_The two of us stared each other down for a couple more silent moments before he turned and left._

"Rose?"

Placing the book back on the shelf quickly, I rushed toward the front of the store. When I saw Adrian standing by the counter with a bag, I was overcome with the feeling that I'd been caught doing something I wasn't supposed to.

Quickly, I turned the music down and smiled apologetically.

"Sorry, I didn't hear the bell. I was just cleaning up," I explained a little too fast. _Why did I feel like I had something to hide._ _Maybe because I did… _I eyed the bag in his hand. "What's that?"

He grinned and put the bag on the counter between us.

"Guess."

I rolled my eyes jokingly and uncurled the top of the bag. The smell assaulted my senses immediately and I knew what it was before even looking at it.

Moaning, I reached in and pulled out a burrito. "You know me _so_ well."

He gestured toward the couches in the reading nook area and I nodded. He grabbed the bag and we walked over.

I glanced at the clock on the wall and realized not much time had passed since I started cleaning. "Don't you usually work late today?"

Adrian eyed me anxiously before setting his burrito down. He cleared his throat. "Yeah, but I quit."

I nearly choked.

"You what?"

Taking my hands in his, he gave me a soft smile. "I know it's sudden, and I know I should've talked to you first, but," he paused as he seemed to think about something, "it was time."

I was hesitant. He always told me he wanted to wait for the right time. Whatever that meant, I wasn't sure, but this impulsive decision was a surprise. I had heard Adrian complain about his job so many times I'd lost track, and I wanted him to be happy, but I was curious to learn why he'd had a sudden change of heart. I wanted to ask, but instead all I could say was, "Are you sure?"

Beaming with confidence, he smiled widely at me and squeezed both of my hands before pulling one up to his mouth to kiss.

"I am."

I couldn't fight the smile that played on my lips.

"Well, it's about damn time."

All the stresses of the day were now forgotten with his good news. We finished our food and I closed up shop. As we walked out hand in hand, I found myself looking forward to the future.

...

_**A Couple Months Later**_

"Don't stop," I breathed out heavily as Adrian's body rocked back and forth over me.

He pressed his lips to mine passionately, grabbing my face with his free hand. His green eyes sparkled in the dim light that peeked out from behind the curtains. It was so early that the sun wasn't even high in the sky yet, but that didn't matter.

The only thing that mattered was Adrian and the way he was making me feel.

My nails dug into his back as he started moving faster. His hand moved from my face to stimulate other parts of my body. When his hand found the spot it was searching for, I knew I wouldn't be able to last much longer.

My moaning grew louder as I got closer and closer. Just as my climax approached, Adrian grabbed my face. "You feel so good," he said, his voice low with desire.

Lost in the haze of pleasure, I opened my eyes and looked into his just as I peaked and fell over the edge. Adrian groaned at the sight of me.

"Kiss me," I moaned, grabbing his face almost frantically. Our lips only touched for a moment before he followed me over the edge. He kissed me harshly as he rode out his high.

Then, when he was done, he collapsed on top of me. The heavy weight felt nice and I was too euphoric to mind. We were both still panting a couple moments later when he lifted his head from where it rested in the crook of my neck.

His hair was wet with sweat and stuck to his forehead. Lazily, I lifted a heavy hand and brushed it out of his eyes. I started to wonder how it would look longer.

"Wow," was all he could say. He leaned down to kiss me.

Grinning, I agreed. "Wow is right."

"Mmm," he moaned as I wrapped my arms around him and started running one hand up and down his back. "If you don't stop looking at me like that, we'll have to go again."

I laughed. "Again?" He nodded. "That was already the second time!"

He kissed my shoulder and then started wiping the sweat off my forehead. My hair was all over the place so he started to try and tame that too. "I think you underestimate the effect that you have on me."

All I could do was smile and snuggle into him closer. We shifted into a more comfortable position and then just as I started dozing off, I heard him whisper something.

"I love you...so, so much"

Unsure if he intended for me to hear or not, I chose to stay quiet, which wasn't very hard because sleep was already calling my name.

That, and a certain pair of brown eyes chose that very moment to enter my mind.

…

A couple hours later, the smell of bacon invaded my nostrils. I opened an eyelid slowly, expecting the curtains to be open and for the sun to invade my sight. Instead, the curtains were drawn closed tightly and the room was still dim.

Thankful for that, I sat up slowly and brushed my hair behind my ears.

A couple minutes later, I was out of our bedroom and following the scent of breakfast cooking in the kitchen. There, I found a shirtless Adrian happily flipping a couple of pancakes and dancing around to the music playing from the speaker on the table.

I leaned against the marble countertop and admired him for a moment before he noticed me.

When he saw me, he turned down the heat on the food and came over to wrap his arms around me and plant a long kiss on my lips.

"Sleep well?" he asked when he released my lips. A smile refused to leave his face.

I nodded, noticing the time. He had let me sleep in way late, something that I was happy about. We'd been at it for a long time last night. _If you could even call it night_… Really, it was the early morning.

We'd both fallen asleep last night somewhat early after watching a movie. It wasn't until I felt Adrian kissing my neck that I woke up.

Lately, we'd been going at it like crazy. Not that we hadn't before, but ever since Adrian quit his job, he'd been all about making sure I was happy - making love to me, treating me to whatever I wanted. _Not that I was complaining_.

He kissed me once more and then continued to finish up breakfast.

...

Later, we sat at the table eating. I lathered up my pancakes with yet another layer of syrup as Adrian watched amusingly.

"So," I started when I was happy with the amount of syrup, "are you going to the studio today?"

Over the last couple of months, Adrian had been going to his studio a lot. He'd leave unexpectedly at random times and wouldn't come back for hours. I had to admit it was keeping me on my toes, all the random hours and times he'd leave for, but he seemed really excited about whatever he was working on so I couldn't find it in me to complain. Seeing him so happy made everything worth it, so I chose to keep any unhappiness to myself.

The day he quit his office job at the firm, he promised me that he would have a show up and running by January. We were already in December and he had yet to say anything about it so I wasn't sure if he'd make good on that promise.

I wasn't going to push though. We were fine with money at the moment. Adrian lived lavishly, but had a lot saved up as well. Plus with the money I made myself to spend on everyday items, we were set for the time being.

Aside from that, it also warmed me to see him so passionate about something. It was like he was always glowing with happiness nowadays.

"Yeah, I was actually planning to head over there after eating. Is that okay?" He looked up at me curiously.

My face fell just a bit at his answer before I could stop it. Today was my day off and I was looking forward to spending the whole day with him.

He must've seen the change in my mood.

"I know I've been gone a lot lately, but it'll all be worth it once you see what I've been working on," he insisted, grabbing my hand across the table. He had never invited me to his studio before. I'd been by once when he first started renting it out, but not since he'd started painting. In fact, now that I thought about it, I hadn't really seen any of his work, aside from small doodles he used to draw and leave in random places for me to find when we first started dating. I smiled at the thought but my sour mood was still present.

"And when will that be?"

"Very soon," he winked. "Sooner than you think."

…

The next week passed pretty uneventfully.

Adrian had been in and out of our apartment more so than usual this week and I was moping around the apartment because I missed him.

Today was my day off and I was not looking forward to spending another day in the apartment alone.

I was just in the middle of sending a desperate text to Lissa about needing a girl's night when Adrian came bursting through the door.

His hair was all over the place and I could see excitement behind his eyes.

"Rose," he started as I stared at him amusingly. He almost looked crazy. I laughed and walked over to him, leaving my phone behind on the table.

"Everything alright?"

He nodded, kissing me passionately as he dipped me backward.

"Whoa," I laughed as he brought me back up. "What's with you?"

Adrian cleared his throat. "Go get dressed."

I looked down at Adrian's oversized t-shirt that I wore along with some frumpy pajama bottoms. I'd probably need a shower first if we were going somewhere.

"Why?" I asked curiously.

"You'll see when we get there." He grinned, before clapping his hands together. "Dress nice. Wear the black dress." He smirked and then paused. "I'm going to get ready too, but I'll need to shower. Join me?"

_Didn't need to tell me twice_.

…

After a very prolonged shower that included more than just getting ourselves clean, we were both dressed and ready to go.

Adrian's hands hadn't left my waist from the moment I put my dress on. It was definitely one of his favorites and I could see why.

It fit me like a second skin, but in the classiest way possible. It was tight but not too provocative. The dress cinched in at the waist, hugged my hips and legs, and went all the way up to my neck but was sleeveless, so it covered all the important bits while flaunting what I had.

I liked the way it looked on me but more importantly, I liked the way Adrian always reacted to me when I wore it.

As we drove, I began to get a little antsy and I could tell Adrian was too.

"Are you going to tell me where we're going?" I finally asked when the silence dragged on a little too long. Normally, we were able to sit in comfortable silence, but this silence was anxious and too heavy.

I could tell Adrian was nervous.

"You'll see soon enough. We're almost there," he confirmed. He'd been very secretive about our plans tonight and while I was excited about whatever it was we were doing, I was very curious and his nerves were contagious.

A few minutes passed, and I started recognizing my surroundings. Though I had only been to the studio once, I knew the area well because I had helped Adrian search extensively for the right space to rent.

"The studio." I said, more as a confirmation than a question. Adrian smiled but didn't say a peep.

We drove up and parked and I noticed the lot was full of cars. As I got out of the car, I also noticed a small line forming outside the building, and a man stood at the front with a clipboard. If I didn't know any better I'd say…_Wait_.

"Adrian..." I trailed off as his fingers threaded through mine. He pulled me along to the door and nodded to the man who let us pass without any complaints. It was all starting to make sense. "Adrian," I started again, but the sight inside hushed any thoughts I wanted to express.

The studio was empty of people at the moment, but paintings hung here and there on each of the walls. They were very large canvases, starting with pieces in neutral colors and then as you got closer to the back of the gallery, the colors became more vibrant and loud.

They were amazing. I rushed over toward the little plaque near the one closest to me and read Adrian's name just beside it, confirming my suspicions.

"Surprise," Adrian said, pulling me close and kissing the side of the head. I just stood there, mouth gaping like a fish.

"How did you- When did you- This is amazing!" I turned around in a circle to take it all in. At the front, just beside the door, was a sign that had Adrian's name written out along with some details about the showcasing. "I can't believe you hid this from me for so long!" I laughed, elbowing him playfully.

"I made you a promise, didn't I?" He grinned.

Smiling bashfully, I shook my head in amusement.

"Wow," I said. It was going to take me a moment to get over the initial shock.

"So you like them?" Adrian asked, suddenly looking nervous again and I noticed he was holding his breath. My opinion mattered a lot to him.

Grabbing his face, I pulled him close and looked him in the eyes. "They're incredible. _You're _incredible." I placed a fierce kiss on his mouth. "Had I known you were this talented, I would've made you quit a long ass time ago," I laughed.

"I wanted you to see everything before anyone else," he said, his eyes glowing, before pulling me along to see each one. He took the time to explain how you were supposed to view the pieces, first starting on the right wall by the entrance and then making your way through the gallery in a counterclockwise circle.

As we got to the fourth painting - there were sixteen in total - I started to notice familiar things about his paintings. Each painting was of the same woman. The art wasn't abstract, but instead pretty realistic, so specific details like birthmarks here and there, and certain curves, were recognizable. None showed her face, but the little details of her body were familiar. As we stood in front of the fifth one, I realized it was _me_.

Speechless, I walked back over to the first one to start again, silencing Adrian. He followed along and let me have my moment to relook at each one. The first couple of paintings were of close-ups of certain parts of my body. First my hands, then there was another that included my lips, then one of my jaw and neck, another of my collarbone.

They were all beautiful.

As I made my way deeper into the collection, the paintings got more sensual and started to show more personal moments. One showed my hands gripping bed sheets, another showed my hip with my knee pulled up. I could see the birthmark I had on my upper thigh, just below the crease where my hip met my leg.

I was speechless. No one would know this was me.

While some were pretty evocative, it was nothing crude or outwardly sexual. Then, as I got to the last one, which was the most colorful of them all, I gasped.

Adrian stood silently behind me throughout this whole discovery of mine, waiting patiently for me to take it all in myself before talking.

This last painting was a portrait of me - face and all. It depicted me in bed, my head resting on my pillow, smiling up at the viewer. It was such an intimate sight. All of the paintings were. I mean they were all of me bare, both literally and figuratively, but none of them were as intrusive as this one.

As I stared at myself, I felt anxious over the exposure. He hadn't told me he was painting _me_. He hadn't told me he was going to then display all this art for strangers to gawk at. The first fifteen paintings I was comfortable with, but this one suddenly made me question the whole collection.

"Are you mad?" Adrian asked, stepping forward. Indecision was on his face as he searched my eyes.

I took a deep breath, took a look around, and then eyed the doors at the front where people stood waiting to be let in.

"It's a little intrusive," I admitted. "Especially this one," I gestured to the one that included my face. "But they're beautiful," I continued. "The way you've depicted me...it's- I mean, I don't even see myself this way, but you've made me beautiful."

I was just like everyone else, meaning I had my own insecurities and things I wanted change about myself but in Adrian's paintings, those flaws were nowhere to be found. He hadn't hid them, but instead celebrated them somehow.

"This is how I see you" He pulled me close and then kissed me. "_This_ is how I _see _you," he said again with more emphasis to make sure I knew that he meant it.

My heart warmed at his words and the deeper meaning behind everything that they meant. The paintings were beautiful, each depicted a specific moment between us, moments that he'd committed to memory and paid much closer attention to than I had. He had all of me memorized.

I walked around a little longer, this time with a drink in my hand. A waiter came around and handed Adrian and I champagne before announcing it was time to open the doors.

Adrian looked at me for confirmation that I was ready, and then he nodded to the man. Adrian's grip on my waist tightened as he led me to the entrance and took a deep breath as the man pulled out a key to unlock the doors.

Deciding to push away any lingering feelings of discontent I felt, I put Adrian first. I knew this was a big deal for him and he would need my full support.

"Don't be nervous," I whispered in an attempt to comfort him. "Everyone's going to love it."

"Here goes..." he mumbled down to me, smiling at my words.

...

I was on my fourth glass of champagne when I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

Adrian's arm around my waist squeezed, drawing my attention back to him. I had been at his side all night and it was getting a bit tiring having to talk to so many strangers.

Everyone was gawking at me by this point too.

I wasn't sure if they'd put two and two together, that it was me in _all_ of the paintings, but that last one had been enough for everyone to stare.

A man I recognized slightly stood before us, congratulating Adrian on his showcase. He then turned to me and complimented me for my beauty as well.

The tightening of Adrian's grip on me suddenly made sense. He hadn't accounted for all the attention I'd be getting. He probably expected _some_ attention and curiosity, but certainly not to this degree.

"Thank you," I said politely before dragging Adrian away from that conversation. I was growing extremely uncomfortable from all the attention.

We walked to a quiet corner and I took a deep breath, still unable to shake the goosebumps from my skin._ Had they left the door open? Had a breeze come in? _

"Maybe you should've worn a different dress," Adrian said, his eyes dragging over my body.

I laughed before downing the rest of my drink. "You think?" He sighed and ran a hand through his tousled hair. I took his hand in mine. "Hey, your work is what's important. Look around," I gestured to the people walking around and talking amongst themselves. "Don't worry about me. I'm self-medicating and I'll be just fine."

"It's not you I'm worried about… I swear, Rose, if another man-" he groaned and I laughed.

"What did you expect, Adrian?" I laughed some more. "I'm _naked_ in all your paintings." I shook my head playfully and then kissed his cheek. "Stop moping. You should be proud. Come on."

With that, I dragged him back over to people and decided I was going to be the perfect supportive girlfriend.

The next couple that approached us would decidedly make that very difficult though. Suddenly the chill I had been unable to shake made sense.

It had been a quiet three months where Dimitri Belikov was concerned.

Ever since our tense moment in the book shop, I hadn't heard a peep from him.

I hadn't taken him seriously when he had told me he wasn't going to push more or barge in on me again, but he stuck to his word. The first month after our last encounter, I was just waiting for him to pop up again. Every time the bell jingled at the bookshop or there was a knock at my front door, I half expected it to be him, but surprisingly, he had stayed away.

In fact, the three months that passed without an appearance from him almost convinced me that he had left for good and life had returned to normal.

The look he gave me the moment our eyes met told me that I was incredibly mistaken.

…

The twitching of Dimitri's brow was a telling sign that he was extremely irritated.

To the crowded room, he'd seem just fine but to me, his ex-girlfriend, it was another story. We could apparently still read each other like no time had passed.

I bit my lip as I held Adrian's arm just a bit tighter while the four of us engaged in friendly banter. Well, it was more like Tasha and Adrian were exchanging pleasantries as Dimitri and I stood quietly, nodding and grunting at the correct times.

The best I could hope for was that they'd move on soon and we could go back to enjoying our time.

The clenching and unclenching of his fist told me he was trying to rein in his temper. I rolled my eyes as his gaze caught mine. He rose an eyebrow and opened his mouth to say something before he stopped himself.

_I needed another drink_.

"Adrian! Rose!" A new voice sang as she joined our little circle.

"Sydney!" Adrian greeted happily. I hadn't known he was inviting her tonight. It had been a while since the two had hung out.

Sydney pulled Adrian into her arms, hugging him tight, before doing the same to me. "I am _so_ proud of you, Adrian," she complimented, gesturing to the room. "Your dream come true. Your work is magnificent."

"Thanks, Syd," Adrian stated graciously before rubbing a comforting hand along my back.

Now was the perfect time to sneak away. The two could use the time to catch up.

Stepping gently out of Adrian's hold, I mumbled that I'd be right back. He eyed me questioningly before I smiled to placate his worry and then slipped away.

…

Sneaking another champagne off a waiter's tray, I craved a moment to myself to gather my thoughts so I sneaked into the bathroom when I thought no one was paying attention.

I splashed some water onto my cheeks, careful not to mess up the mascara and eye makeup that helped me look presentable. After drying my hands, I studied myself in the mirror, noting the stress on my face plain as day. I sighed.

It had been years since we dated. Why could he still get under my skin like this? Was there something I wasn't admitting to myself? Did I still have feelings for him?

_Yes_.

I knew undoubtedly that I'd always feel _something_ for him. He was my first love so it only made sense but he had hurt me in a way I couldn't forgive, as hard as I tried. I had moved past it, but things were different now that he was here.

It was easy to forget when he was thousands of miles away in our hometown, Baia.

Had he stayed there, I could've gone the rest of my life unplagued by his existence. But he hadn't stayed there. Instead, he moved to the states and miraculously found me.

The door to the women's restroom swung open and who else but the man himself appeared from behind it. I stepped back, putting distance between us like I had done each time he invaded my personal space.

He locked the door behind him, earning a threatening look from me.

"What the _hell_ do you think you're doing!?" I accused, glaring at him. "This is the women's restroom!"

He rolled his eyes, growling. "I know."

"So get out!"

"No, I need to speak with you." He inched closer.

"So do it like a normal person and talk to me when I'm not in the bathroom!" I spit.

"You won't give me the time of day so I have no choice but to force it on you."

"You said you were going to stop doing that."

"And look where it's gotten us!"

"That was the point."

He slammed a hand down angrily on the wall of the stall I had backed into. I flinched, but not because I was afraid he'd hurt me. I knew he'd never lay a hand on me. _Not after he'd seen how his father was to his mother. _

_He was too close to me. _

"Roza—"

"Don't call me that!"

He angrily ran a hand through his hair. It hung freely around his face, making him look irresistibly sexy.

I shook my head, ridding myself of those forbidden thoughts. _It had to be the alcohol. _

"It's your name," he insisted, his accent sounding incredibly thick.

His other hand came down to rest on the other side of me, trapping me between his arms and the stall. He towered over me, creating a shadow as his height blocked the light.

"Not anymore."

"Rose," he started again, his voice no calmer than it was before. I was pushing his buttons and he was pushing mine.

I crossed my arms. "I won't talk to you when you're acting like a caveman."

"I'm angry." He said plain as day.

"Yes, I can see that, but I don't care. I don't give a damn if you're mad that I don't want to talk to you."

He sighed. "That's not why I'm angry." His voice calmed as he leaned down just a bit so his forehead was almost touching mine. I swallowed.

"Then why—"

"His paintings." He explained, pain evident in his voice. His eyes bore deeply into mine. I could almost feel his inner anguish.

I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out.

"Roza—everyone is looking at you. They're seeing..." He paused. My mind finished his statement. _They're seeing what was his_.

Breathing became laborious then. He was so close that our breaths mingled together. _I needed to get out of here. This couldn't happen. We were too damn close. _

His forehead pressed against mine, closing the distance. His hand left its place against the stall and tangled itself into my hair, angling my head up just barely. I could've stopped him, but I didn't.

"You are a vision in this dress, Roza..."

His thumb caressed my cheek and then my lips. At his touch, my mouth opened just slightly and he dipped his thumb in, just enough to gently tug on my lower lip.

"...But I have to say, I much prefer the red one."

My pulse raced and my chest moved rapidly as I recalled the dress to which he was referring. Heat rushed south as I remembered what had become of that dress. _Torn to shreds..._ That was a night I'd surely never forget. I still considered it to be the most erotic experience I'd ever had.

This was bad.

Just as I began to lean in and dangerously close the distance, a loud twisting of the knob on the door killed the moment. _Thank god. _

The relief and guilt of what I was about to do, but thankfully didn't, set in. I eyed the door. We were trapped.

The intruder moved onto knocking at this point.

"Hello?" A voice called from the other side and I nearly fainted when I realized who it was. _Lissa. _

"Shit." I cursed, shoving Dimitri away from me.

I paced the room as I considered my options. _Literally nothing._

God, what would I say?! What _could_ I say?

Before I had time to figure it out, Dimitri was opening the door to my horror.

Lissa looked him up and down surprisingly before looking at the sign on the door. "Isn't this the women's—"

She fell silent when her eyes landed on me. I knew I must've looked guilty, because I sure as hell felt that way.

She looked between us and then her mouth fell open. "Rose?" Her voice was full of betrayal. I knew how it looked. The door was locked. I was sure I looked aroused as hell because truthfully, I was. My cheeks were flushed.

Lissa loved Adrian just as much as I did. _Oh, Adrian. _

"Lissa," I started, putting my hands up in an attempt to calm her, but it was no use. She stormed out of the bathroom and back into the studio.

I ran after her, grabbing her arm before she could get too far. I dragged her to a quieter corner away from everyone else so we could talk.

"Please, let me explain."

She pulled her arm out of my grip and then folded her arms angrily around herself. Her eyes watered up. "How could you, Rose? How could you do this to Adrian? And on the night of his opening!"

Her lip trembled and mine followed suit. Tears threatened to fall over onto my cheeks.

She was right. _How could I?_

"Nothing happened," I insisted. _But a second more and it would have_. "I swear."

"Then why was the door _locked?"_

"Because _he_ locked it," I explained. Then I rambled about what had happened in the moments leading up to when she found us, leaving out the moment where we almost kissed.

"Why would he do that? I thought he was with Tasha."

"Because—because he's my ex." I confessed, my shoulders falling.

"_What?!_"

"We were together for years, Liss."

_**End of Part II**_

* * *

**A/N: **Thoughts? Final part coming soon! Check out my newly posted one-shots and my two chapter fics if you have the time :) Thanks!


	3. Part III

**Disclaimer: **Richelle Mead owns Vampire Academy

* * *

_**7 Years Ago**_

Sunlight peeked through the blinds of the bedroom, brightening the room enough to pull me from my peaceful slumber.

I rolled over, my arm searching the other side of the bed. I frowned when I found that it was empty.

Sitting up, I let the sheets fall down to my waist. _Where was Dimitri?_

Glancing over to the clock on the bedside table, I thought for a moment maybe he'd gone to work already but then I realized it was the weekend and he was off today.

I stretched and then got out of bed, slipping on the t-shirt Dimitri had been wearing the night before. It was discarded on the floor..._where I had tossed it after taking it off him_. I smiled, remembering last night, before brushing some of my hair behind my ears with my fingers.

I padded out of the bedroom and into the rest of his house in search of my boyfriend.

I found him in the kitchen, cooking up some traditional Russian cuisine for breakfast. I groaned at the sight.

Dimitri, shirtless, with a spatula in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other.

"You are spoiling me," I teased as I sat down across from him.

He grinned, shaking his head. "I figured food would the best way to get you to say yes."

I tilted my head to the side. "Say yes to what?"

He stopped cooking and moved the pan to a part of the stove that wasn't on. He left the food to cool down and then approached me. He grabbed one of my hands and then pulled something from the pocket of his pajama pants. I could tell he was nervous.

"Remember I love you and you love me." His eyes bore into mine. He was trying to reassure me.

I started to worry. "Okay...what's going on?"

"It's not a big deal," he started, before producing a small key from his closed fist and dropping it into my open palm.

It was quiet for a minute as I let my brain catch up. When it did, my eyes darted away from the key and back to his face where he was watching me carefully.

_Oh boy._

I opened my mouth to speak. Not that I was sure what to say, but silence didn't seem like the smartest response.

Dimitri beat me to it.

"Roza, you basically live here already."

I pursued my lips. "Yeah…"

He could see my worry. I hated that things like this were so tough for me. It had been a year of dating already and he had proven that it was the right thing to do...so why was it such a big deal that I move my things in?

He was right, I practically lived here already. I slept here more often than not. My toothbrush was in the bathroom. My clothes were in a drawer.

_You will be okay. You love him_.

"And I hate that you're in that house all alone."

My parents had since moved to different houses, no longer wanting to live in a place they shared together. It had been a couple years since either of them lived there with me. My mother had moved out first, leaving my father and I to occupy the house until he eventually left as well when I was old enough to live alone.

Now the house served as a reminder of my unhappy childhood. It wouldn't mean a lot to let it go.

"I think it'll be a good thing for you...for both of us."

I nodded.

Smiling, I took the key from his hand and set it down in front of me. I traced the shape of it, wrapping my head around the fact that this would be my home soon enough. A place where I truly belonged.

"I think you're right," I agreed.

He pulled me into his arms and off the chair to swing me around. Laughing, he set me down and then kissed me until the sound of my stomach growling interrupted us.

"It's not official until I'm fed," I reminded him, giggling.

He kissed my cheek and then pulled a couple of plates out for us.

"I wouldn't have it any other way, Roza."

_**5 Years Ago**_

"Rose, I have had enough of this. Stop shutting me out."

Sighing, I sunk deeper into the pillows and cushions of our couch. I'd taken to sleeping here ever since the bad news.

It reminded me of when I was younger and would have to listen to my parents argue. Their bedroom was next to mine so I'd pull the sheets off my bed and would run to sleep on the sofa in the living room so I could escape their loud angry voices.

It was an old habit, something I thought I'd grown out of. _Apparently not_.

I didn't understand why I was doing it now.

It wasn't like Dimitri and I were arguing. Yes, he was upset with me, but we weren't mad at each other like my parents used to be. They used to be at each other's throats.

Perhaps that was the road Dimitri and I were doomed for and that's why I was sleeping here.

Perhaps I was trying to avoid the explosive fighting subconsciously.

I could tell that I was self-sabotaging myself. I was doing exactly what I'd been working to prevent my whole life. I could see that I was doing it, but I just couldn't stop.

"Are you even listening to me?!"

I groaned as Dimitri started talking again. Why wouldn't he just leave me alone?

"Can you please just leave me be?"

Finally, I looked at him. He was standing with his arms up in the air angrily. I was frustrating him, but he was doing the same thing to me, so I couldn't care less.

"Roza, let me be here for you. I am here for you. Please just talk to me."

"I don't want to talk, Dimitri. How many times do I have to tell you?"

He kneeled in front of the couch and took my hands in his.

"You haven't said a word since your mother called."

"And?"

"That was days ago, Rose."

"Can you just let me deal with this in my own way?"

"You're acting like you're alone in this, but you're not."

"I've always dealt with things by myself. It's okay."

"But I'm here for you now. You don't have to be alone."

I was at my boiling point. We had been going around in circles for days now. I was trying to mourn and deal with this in my own way but here he was pushing me over and over to let him in.

I understood where he was coming from but this was just my way of dealing with things.

This was not like the other times when he pushed me. This wasn't for the better.

Before I could stop myself, "Well maybe I should be."

"Should be what, alone?"

His voice was getting louder now. _Here we go_. _Janine and Abe Pt 2 in action._

"You don't mean that."

I jumped up, tearing the blankets off of me. I stomped into the kitchen where I had a pint of ice cream waiting for me in the freezer.

"Maybe I do!"

"You can't be serious!"

I slammed the freezer door shut. "You won't listen to me! Why would I want to be with someone who doesn't listen to me? I told you I just needed some time to be alone. What about that do you not understand?"

"It's been days, Rose!"

"Yes, I know. You said that already. I don't care that it's been days. I'm not ready to talk to you yet. So _stop pushing me_ and respect my boundaries."

"I have been respectful of your boundaries for long enough. I'm not going to let you push me away."

"Oh my God!" I slammed the pint onto the counter. "What do you want from me Dimitri?" I sank down to the ground, tears falling down my cheeks.

I was fragile as it is. His constant hovering wasn't doing me _any _good. I knew he had the best intentions but _god_, how many times would I have to say it?

He sat down beside me and pulled me into his arms.

"I just want to be there for you. Please just let me help you."

I let him hold me for a second before I inched out of his grasp.

"You're smothering me, Dimitri, and I just can't handle it right now. I'm dealing with enough as it is."

"What are you saying?" His eyes grew grim, his voice soft.

"I think we should take a break." There, it was out. Out before I could shove it back in.

"You're breaking up with me?" The look in eyes ripped me in two. It was almost enough for me to say nevermind but the damage had been done and I couldn't keep living like this. The last few days had been hell for me because of my father's death and then this constant back and forth with him was making me insane. There was a lot we had said to each other over the past few days, things we both regretted, but they were out in the open now, festering. I just needed time and he wasn't giving it to me. He was holding on way too tight in a time when that was destructive.

I sighed, reconsidering.

"You know what? Fine." He stood up, stepped over me, and then grabbed the keys to his car. "If you want to be alone, I won't stop you. I've done nothing but be there for you, even at times when most people would've given up."

His voice rose again and I averted my eyes to the floor, unwilling to look at him. I was hurt by his words but he was just returning the favor.

"Where are you going to go?"

"Ivan invited me out for drinks. I'm sure he won't mind if I crash at his place for a few nights."

"Okay."

He laughed humorously and then shook his head, pausing before he walked out the door.

"You know, I would've thought after three years together you'd be over _this_. I guess some people just aren't fixable. Never thought you wouldn't be worth it..."

With that, he stormed out, slamming the door behind him.

I stayed on the floor, letting his unspoken words fill the silence he left behind.

_Never thought you wouldn't be worth it...until now. _

I stayed in that spot for longer than I'd like to admit, alone in my thoughts, wondering if I'd just ruined something else for myself.

It takes two to tango…

My phone rang periodically throughout the night before I turned it off, eventually retiring back to bed. He told me he was staying with Ivan so there was no reason to avoid my bed.

But surprisingly, he showed up at some point in the middle of the night, professing his regrets and slurring his love for me when he thought I couldn't hear. I drifted in and out for a while until he fell asleep himself.

When I woke in the morning, my feelings hadn't subsided. Silently, I slipped out of bed and got ready for the funeral without waking him. I meant it when I said I needed time apart.

When I was satisfied with my appearance, I left the apartment, trying my best not to hurl because of the putrid stench of alcohol that wafted throughout the house.

_**Present Day**_

I tossed and turned as I replayed what had happened two weeks ago at the gallery.

It had been many days since then, but I had yet to get a good night's rest since. I was restless. I blamed it on the guilt I felt.

I had wanted that kiss and I hated myself for it.

It was an important night for my boyfriend _who I loved_, and I had spent the night pining over another man. Not just any man. A man that I loved with all my heart at one point...and possibly still did.

I was ashamed.

The words had fallen out of me when I explained the details of my past to my best friend, Lissa. She and I had grown very close over the time that I'd lived in the states, but Dimitri was something I had kept from her.

He symbolized a part of my life that I'd wanted to escape. It hurt too much to rehash that painful time. It reminded me of the death of my father, and the events that tore Dimitri and I apart… _and my own mistakes. _

It was pure luck that no one interrupted us as we talked in the secluded corner.

"_For years?"_ _Lissa asked, a shocked look on her face. The momentary surprise lessened some of her anger, for which I was grateful. Her curiosity trumped the ferocity of her gaze as she accused me of infidelity. Her suspicions weren't too far off. _

_I hadn't actually kissed him, but I might as well have. Emotional cheating was just as bad as physically doing the act, maybe even worse. _

"_Yes, before I moved here I lived with him in Russia."_

"_You guys lived together?"_

_I nodded, wringing my hands together, wishing I'd had something to busy them with. Perhaps another champagne? _No, that's what had gotten me into this mess in the first place.

"_Had everything not gone to shit, it was very likely that we would've gotten married, pushed out a couple kids…"_

"_What happened? Why did it go south?" Her face took on a sympathetic look. Gone was her anger, replaced with concern for me. She could tell that talking about this was upsetting for me. Dimitri was a touchy subject. _

"_My father died." I stated bluntly. She knew I didn't currently have a relationship with either of my parents. I'd mentioned them before, but she didn't know the details of it all. I'd mentioned in passing that I wasn't close to them and had made a few off handed comments about their relationship messing me up a bit emotionally, but nothing more than that. She didn't know my father was no longer alive. _

_Her face softened even more as she rested a hand on my arm comfortingly. _

"_I was closer to him than my mother. Much closer. She is still alive," I added. "But I don't talk to her anymore."_

"_I'm sorry to hear that."_

"_It is what it is… Anyway, he died unexpectedly and it tore me apart. I pulled away from everyone. I was hard to get to know back then, nothing like I am now. I pushed people away, but Dimitri was persistent. He pushed his way into my life, much like he's trying to do now. And I let him in. I fell deeply in love with him, something I wasn't aware that I could have._

"_When my father died, I retreated back into that version of myself. I put my walls up and pushed him away. All that progress went down the drain. He was angry at me for it but he understood. He tried to be there for me as I tried to work my way through the grief, but I wasn't very good at handling my emotions in a healthy way. I kept it all inside. We were living together at that point but I was a world away."_

_She nodded, silently urging me to continue when I paused to think about my own part in the unraveling of mine and Dimitri's relationship. _

"_The day of my father's funeral, I left the house without waking him. I didn't know why I was being so cold toward him. He was just trying to help me but I wouldn't let him. The night before, he went out with his friend, Ivan, to blow off some steam. We had argued before he left. It was something small that I can't even remember, but it blew up into this huge thing so he left the house mad. He called me at one point while he was out but I didn't answer and he left a voicemail. He was incredibly drunk._

"_It was loud in the background of the message. He was at a bar." My lip trembled as I remembered how distraught he sounded. "He told me he was sorry and that he loved me and would always be there for me, even if I couldn't let him." I wiped my cheeks as a couple tears fell. _

_Lissa kept rubbing circles into my arm. _

"_I deleted the message and went to bed. The next morning, I went to the funeral like the night before hadn't happened. We didn't talk about it when he got home and I didn't want to, so I avoided it by leaving. Dimitri must've woken up sometime after that because he noticed I was gone and hadn't told him. He was still drunk from the night before. He'd had a _lot_ to drink._

"_He showed up to the funeral shitfaced. I hadn't noticed him at first but when he stumbled over a group of chairs, it was hard not to."_

_I stopped then, not wanting to tell her the rest of the things he'd done. It wasn't important anymore. She got the gist. Dimitri had shown up to the incredibly painful event and had brought the wrong attention to himself, eclipsing the man who was being lowered into the ground. _

"_I spent the rest of the day holding his hair back as he spewed his guts into the toilet. I was so angry at him. I couldn't forgive him for that, even though I played a role in it."_

"_You should've spent the day mourning your father, but instead, you were taking care of Dimitri."_

"_Yeah…" I admitted plainly. Now she understood. "I loved him so much...but I was so hurt." _

"_And how long ago was this?"_

"_Five years ago."_

"_And now he's back."_

"_Yes, and I don't know what to do. I'm so confused. There's so many unresolved feelings there, but I _love_ Adrian. You know I do."_

_She nodded. "Still, you need to tell him."_

_She was right. I did, but how would he react? Would he be understanding like Lissa, or would he be angry at me for keeping it from him?_

"_I know. I'm just scared." Scared that maybe he'd see that a part of me still loved Dimitri. _

"_Adrian loves you. He'll understand. You just need to tell him sooner rather than later. You've already kept him in the dark for a little too long. You don't want him to find out from someone else."_

_I raised an eyebrow. "You?"_

_She shook her head. "No, I wouldn't do that to you, but I'm not so sure he wouldn't." She pointed over to Dimitri, who was watching us carefully from across the room where he stood beside Tasha as she continued her discussion with my boyfriend and now Sydney. "He _is_ persistent."_

_That he was. _

_Dimitri was committed to getting me back, despite his current ties to Tasha. It was all very confusing, but I knew he wouldn't stop until I gave him what he wanted or did something drastic to get him away. But what?_

Another buzz from my phone proved that I'd been right. I lowered the brightness so it wouldn't disturb my sleeping partner and then read the text on the screen.

_We need to talk about what happened at some point, Roza. _

I deleted the message and set the phone back down, contemplating what to do. I still hadn't spoken to Adrian about it yet. I knew I was avoiding it, but I'd reasoned with myself that it was for the best that I deal with this on my own until I could get rid of Dimitri.

After he was gone, then I'd tell Adrian. I needed to figure this out on my own so he would leave for good this time. Or at least let me be.

If Adrian knew now, he'd get in the way and it would undoubtedly piss Dimitri off. I didn't want that kind of trouble.

My phone buzzed again and I looked at the time. _2:00 AM. _Why was he still up and why was he bothering me?

I knew why of course. I'd avoided him like the plague since he reentered my life, almost kissed him, and then went back to ignoring his existence. At least physically. He was always on my mind.

_I know you're awake. _

I rolled my eyes and then texted back.

_Leave me alone. How did you even get my number?_

He answered immediately.

_Tasha. She got it from Adrian. _

When I didn't text back, he sent another message.

_I've been messaging you for days. _

_I know. _

_You finally answered. Means I'm getting somewhere. _

_No, it means you're getting on my last nerve and I want you to leave me alone so I can get back to my life. _

_Then meet me. We need to talk. _

I set the phone back down, weighing my options.

_And then you'll leave me alone?_

_I'm not making any promises. _

_Dimitri…_

_Fine. Meet me and I'll back off. _

…

It was almost 3:00 AM when I pulled my car into the abandoned parking lot of a 24 hour diner that was just ten minutes from my apartment.

I walked inside and sat down, ordering two coffees for the table.

Not five minutes passed before the bell jingled at the door and Dimitri walked in. Amazingly, he did not look one ounce of tired. He looked wide awake in fact.

I couldn't say the same for me. My trouble sleeping was taking a toll on me. There were heavy bags under my eyes and my immune system was suffering as a result. I sniffled as I continued to fight off a cold.

He sat down, reaching for the black coffee automatically. I remained quiet, letting him take the lead.

"You remember how I like it."

"Of course. We were only together for three years. I remember everything from back then."

He smiled. "Good. I was beginning to worry you'd forgotten."

I shook my head in response, not wanting to talk about that.

"What did you want to talk about?"

"The night of the opening."

"What about it?" I was playing dumb and we both knew it, but I wanted him to say it, because I sure as hell couldnt.

"You almost kissed me."

I flinched. "I was drunk."

"Did Adrian buy that excuse?"

I glared at him from behind my cup, not trusting myself to say much. "Leave him out of this."

"And where does your boyfriend think you are right now? It's a bit late to be out." He looked at his watch exaggeratingly.

"He doesn't know I'm here."

"You have a habit of leaving without letting your boyfriends know." It was a low blow.

I stood, threatening to leave. "Is this really what you pulled me out of bed to talk about? Trust me when I say you don't want to bring up that day."

He paused, weighing my words for a moment, before he shook his head. Undoubtedly, he was remembering his bad decisions from that day as well. No, he did _not_ want to rehash that day.

"I apologize. I let my temper get the best of me."

"That's been happening a lot lately." I sat back down. "You didn't used to be like this. You were always so patient." It was one of the things I loved about him — used to love.

He frowned, rubbing the back of his neck. "I've got a lot to be mad about. Losing you being the main thing."

I lowered my eyes, choosing to focus solely on the pattern of the tabletop. It resembled marble, or at least was trying to.

A sigh fell from my lips as the silence between us grew. An upbeat tune played through the speakers of the restaurant, but it wasn't enough to lift the gloomy cloud that hung over our booth.

"What is it that you want from me, Dimitri?" There was a hopelessness to my voice. I was tired, both mentally and emotionally.

"I thought I was clear." He grabbed my hand over the table and threaded his fingers through my own. "I want you back."

I squeezed his hand, allowing myself one moment of comfort, before pulling myself free. "I'm taken." I paused. "And it seems like you are too."

"Tasha is not you. I could easily let her go and not feel a thing."

"That's not a kind thing to say."

"I know, but it's the truth. Anyone after you has just been a place filler until I could get back to what I really want."

"That may be your truth, but it's not mine. Adrian is not a replacement or someone I'm passing the time with. I love him."

"It's been years and nothing has come close to what we had for me." He bargained.

I frowned. "That saddens me. You deserve to be happy. Regardless of your past mistakes, I want that for you."

"There's only one thing that could make me happy." _Me. _

"I can't give it to you."

"You _won't_." He corrected.

I shook my head. "No. I won't do that to him."

Silence fell upon us once again. The waitress used our lull in conversation to refill our cups. I was grateful, because I'd finished mine and didn't know what to do with my hands.

"Can you honestly tell me that what you have with him compares to us?"

I looked up from the coffee and searched his eyes. He had me there. "It is close enough. And he makes me happy."

"I could make you happier."

"You destroyed me. And I you. Why would you want to put yourself through that again?"

"It wasn't all bad. Only at the end, and we both know why."

I considered what he was saying. "I suppose you're right."

"Progress," he grinned and it was contagious. I smiled before reminding myself not to.

"Even if Adrian wasn't in the picture, too much time has passed. What we shared is gone." The closeness we'd built over the years of knowing each other had certainly disappeared...right?

"You know that's not true."

I didn't respond.

"I'll prove it to you."

"And how do you plan to do that?"

He thought for a moment. The look on his face reminded me of when he'd lose himself in one of his books. I loved how easy it was for him to delve into the imaginary world of his Westerns. _Loved,_ I reminded myself.

"Come with me?" He stood, tossing a bill down on the table to pay for our drinks. He held his hand out, offering an escape.

I hesitated. "It's late. Where in the world could you possibly want to go?"

"Just trust me."

A long pause passed as I checked the time. Adrian slept like the dead. It was probably more than a few more hours until he'd wake up. The guilt of not telling him what I was doing plagued me, urging me to go home.

"If it's gone, I'll leave you alone, but you have to give me a chance." I bit my tongue, wanting to mention that this _was_ his chance and he had told me only an hour ago that he'd leave me alone if I just met up with him. He was prolonging our time together and we both knew it.

He offered his hand again.

"Do you trust me?"

That was a loaded question. One I didn't want to answer.

Nevertheless, I took his hand, sealing our fate.

…

I hadn't recognized the path he had driven.

I left my car back at the diner, opting to let him take me wherever he wanted because at the very least, I wouldn't waste gas on this trip. Additionally, I was getting tired. I didn't trust myself to drive while I was so drowsy.

He stopped briefly at a gas station to fill up and brought back a bottled coffee for me. He took a water for himself.

"Thank you."

He nodded, shutting the door as he filled up the tank.

I used the moment alone to look around his car and familiarize myself with my surroundings.

_What was I doing? _

This definitely wasn't the smartest decision I'd ever made. He'd found a way to get me alone and I hadn't even put up much of a fight.

When he was done, he drove us to a small house that overlooked a forested area. As I got out of the car, I looked around nervously.

"You aren't going to kill me, are you?"

He made a sound of annoyance. "Don't be ridiculous."

Laughing nervously, I followed him to the door and took a cautious step inside when it opened. He flicked on the light and shut the door behind him.

Automatically, I felt like I was back to Baia.

All of our things were placed around the home. Stuff of my past — our past — decorated the room. A blanket his mother had knitted for us was thrown over the sofa, which I recognized as the one we had owned back then.

Pictures rested on the mantle over the fireplace. A closer look showed that they were of us, of his family, of his friends. _Our family. Our friends. _

"You kept everything."

"I did."

I picked up a small trinket I'd bought for him one day in the market. It was a small glass heart I got to tell him I loved him for the first time. It was a hard thing for me to admit back then and I wanted something to forever memorialize the occasion.

"That in particular is very special to me," he nodded to the heart as I held it in my hands.

Breathing was growing harder by the minute. He walked over to me, taking the trinket from my hands carefully before setting it back in its place. It was like he didn't trust me with it, wanting it safely back in its appropriate spot before I could drop it or something.

He tore his eyes away from the heart and then his eyes landed on me.

My chest rose and fell rapidly.

What I had been fighting was coming to fruition. This was a bad idea. A really bad idea. But I had come hadn't I? He didn't force me. I had convinced myself it would be okay, but deep down, I think a part of me knew this is how it would end up. I was a horrible person.

Before I could stop myself, I grabbed his face in my hands and pulled his lips down to mine.

The minute our mouths connected, he picked me up by the legs and cradled me in his arms, my legs wrapping around him automatically as he fully supported my weight.

He backed me into the door as we kissed. The pain of our bodies thumping against the wood hurt, but not enough to cease our actions. It had been a long time.

He pulled the tie from my hair and buried his hand in the loose strands. It was easier now that the wall was supporting half of my weight. I moaned into his mouth, begging for more. I ground my hips against him, telling him what I needed.

His lips moved down to my neck, focusing there as my hands explored his body. We paused for a moment so I could pull his shirt off of him. Once it was gone, my hands caressed every single inch of his bare skin. He was still toned, his chest firm from years of disciplined exercise. _How had I ever lived without this?_

I should've stopped then, but I was too focused on the moment. Nothing and no one else entered my mind. It was just him. _Him, him, him. _

My shirt came off next, along with my bra. His hands enveloped my breasts as his lips returned to mine, his tongue entangled with my own. He ran his thumbs back and forth over my nipples, making the spot between my thighs tingle even more.

I moaned loudly, melting into him. My body turned to putty. I needed every inch of him buried inside me and I needed it now.

I shoved my hand into his waistband impatiently, fisting his member the moment it was in reach. He paused his ministrations to rest his forehead against mine. His hot breath mingled with mine as I pulled sounds of pleasure from him.

Before I could understand what was happening, he pulled me away from the door and led me deeper into the house. I didn't need to look around to know where he was taking me. A moment later, we fell back onto his bed. _Our bed_.

He pulled my pants off of me, kissing his way down my legs as he went. He discarded his pants as well, leaving us both in our underwear. Everything was familiar to me, like coming back home after a long vacation.

His eyes didn't leave mine as he kissed back up my legs, coming back up to me. He paused at my stomach to spatter a couple gentle kisses and nips below my belly button.

My legs rubbed against each as I tried to ease some of the tension I felt. I needed friction, but was too afraid to speak. This was so fragile and I was scared any noise aside from our heavy breaths and strangled moans would ruin the moment.

He licked around the hem of my panties, his fingers dancing around my thighs. He continued to tease me until I couldn't take it anymore. I fisted his hair and pushed his face closer to where I wanted him.

Over the fabric of my underwear, he tongued my slit gently, just enough to lightly caress the bundle of nerves that craved attention. I moaned loudly and pushed my hips harder into his open mouth.

He obliged and pushed the fabric aside. I felt his hot breath on me and a second later, I was lost to the feeling of pure ecstasy as his mouth covered me. His tongue dipped into my wet arousal as he tasted me for the first time in half a decade.

He moaned at the taste and then went back up to the nub of nerves. His tongue licked over and over again, pulling sounds of utter pleasure from my lips. I couldn't help it. I was lost to his actions, a token in his chess game now. I would do anything for him to keep going. I didn't ever want him to stop.

He buried his face impossibly deeper into me as his hands moved up to my chest where he went back to massaging my breasts and playing with my nipples. He knew exactly how I liked it.

The combination of his mouth and hands was more than enough to pull an orgasm from me. I cried out loudly as I fell over the edge.

Not a minute later, he was buried inside me. He thrust himself deep into me, bringing a satiated sigh from both of our lips. I was still reeling from my first orgasm as he entered me. With a free hand, he cupped my face and pulled me back to the moment, to him.

"Look at me, Roza," he begged, coaxing me to open my eyes. I did and was met with his warm brown eyes looking down at me. I could feel everything he felt for me in them. He loved me more than life itself. His lips gently met mine in a chaste kiss. "I love you," he whispered against my mouth as he began to move inside me again.

I couldn't say anything back just yet so I just moaned in reply and wrapped my arms around his neck, holding him in place. His hips moved against mine slowly at first and then the pace picked up as he neared his climax.

"Tell me you love me too," he whispered against my mouth as his hips bucked frantically into mine.

I moaned as my own release neared.

"Tell me," he repeated, his hand brushing my hair out of my face as his eyes moved over every inch of my face. This felt so much like how it used to be. Maybe if I closed my eyes, I'd reopen them to realize the last five years we'd spent apart was just a dream.

My second orgasm was fast approaching. I clung tightly to him, my nails digging into his shoulders as he spilled himself into me. I came just after him, panting harshly as he fell against me. Tired, he collapsed onto my chest, placing a wet kiss onto my skin.

"I love you, too," I finally whispered into the silent room.

I felt his lips curl into a lazy smile against my skin. He wrapped his arms around my waist and I snuggled closer.

My eyes floated over the ceiling, making out small ridges in the plaster in the dark. The room was just beginning to light up. It must've been early morning now.

I let my hand brush over his face and through his hair gently as sleep pulled for me. For the first time in forever, I slept soundly.

…

When I woke, it was so silent in the room that I could hear my own heart beating loudly in my ears.

Dimitri was already awake next to me.

He had me wrapped in his arms. As we slept, we had shifted positions. My head was now resting in the nook between his arm and shoulder. I had one leg thrown across his hips.

"How long have you been awake?" I asked, breaking the silence.

"A while," his eyes darted over to the curtains where just a sliver of light passed through. It was morning. "I didn't want to wake you." He sounded nervous.

"You should have." I shifted my weight onto the hand that rested on his chest, attempting to get up so I could get dressed. Adrian would have been awake by now. He must have been worried sick.

_I really fucked up_.

I knew that for sure, but this hadn't felt...wrong. If anything, it felt like coming home.

That's what made me feel worst of all.

Dimitri's arms tightened, preventing me from leaving. I fell back onto him with a thud.

"What—"

"I don't want you to go." His voice sounded pained. My eyes softened as I scooted up a tiny bit to get a better view of him. Gone was the intrusive, confident man who had fought his way back into my life. In his place, a softened version. This Dimitri I was familiar with. I loved this Dimitri with my whole being.

Adrian's face entered my mind. The thought of him waking up to an empty bed and no note made me feel sick. "I have to. I'm sorry."

"_Please_ don't go."

Sighing, I let my head fall back onto his chest. I should've known that sleeping with him would've given him cause to never let me go again. If I was being honest, I didn't want him to.

He was all mine, whether I accepted him or not. Last night, I had accepted him. Not that I regretted it per se, but I had my reservations for obvious reasons.

Entering his home was like entering the past in a time machine. I was transported back to when we lived together, when we were happy. But that was no excuse. I kissed him first and I never tried to stop what happened next.

I was trying to bullshit myself.

It was a while before he spoke again. I almost thought he had fallen back asleep.

"Did you mean what you said?"

I paused, trying to figure out what he was referring to. It was easy enough.

_Do you really still love me? _

I did. But like anything that has ever happened with us, it took time for me to accept it. It took his help. It took time and effort and convincing.

"Yes." I whispered, nuzzling deeper into his warm chest.

"But you love him too?"

In the quiet pause, I let myself reevaluate everything. I loved Dimitri and I loved Adrian.

I had let go of Dimitri and had grown to love Adrian. It was an easy love. In Dimitri's absence, I had found a new, great love with a good man who loved me deeply. Not long ago, I was certain I loved Adrian just as much as I had ever loved Dimitri...maybe even more?

But with Dimitri's return, that all crumbled. If I truly loved Adrian like I thought, how could I have ended up back in Dimitri's bed like no time had passed?

Certainly if my feelings for Adrian were that strong, I wouldn't have been able to do that.

Or maybe, Dimitri and I just had something that was undeniable.

"I do…" I trailed off. "But—"

"But?" I could tell his hopes were lifting.

I held onto him tighter like a lifeline. This was hard. Sleeping with him was easy. Holding him close was easy. Opening up my heart to him again? Giving him the opportunity to break it to pieces once more was hard.

I counted the beats of his heart as I struggled to get the words out.

"I am yours." I confessed, repeating the words he had told me not too long ago.

The rhythm of his heart sped up. He kissed my forehead and then released me to cradle my head in his large palms.

"Things will be better this time."

"...I hope so."

"I promise you, Roza." He kissed me gently. "I'm not letting you go again."

...

When I returned home hours later, it was midday and Adrian was waiting for me.

He had called me multiple times and texted me asking where I was. I couldn't bring myself to answer them.

I needed to face this like an adult. I wasn't a young girl in Baia anymore. I was a woman and while I hadn't made a mistake exactly, I had done something wrong and it would hurt the man I'd loved for the past year.

It was an incredibly difficult situation.

But I had made my choice the moment I took Dimitri's hand back at the diner.

I tried to calm my racing heart as I shut the door behind me but nothing could prepare me for what was to come.

Adrian sat in a chair at our kitchen table, absentmindedly playing with his phone as he waited.

He didn't even look up at my entrance. Instead he took another sip from a bottle of beer that sat in front of him. He never drank this early.

"I called you. Even texted a few times."

I inched closer carefully, worried what he might do.

"You didn't answer." He continued plainly.

"I'm sorry," I apologized, pulling out a chair to sit opposite him. I sat down.

He looked up from his hands then and met my eyes. His gaze darted down to my neck briefly. I moved my hair to cover the view. I knew what was there and now so did he.

His face hardened.

"What exactly are you apologizing for, Rose?"

I frowned, trying to muster up the courage to come clean. He obviously already suspected something, but he didn't know the whole truth.

He took my silence as an opportunity to continue to probe.

"Who is he?"

I opened my mouth but nothing came out.

"You haven't been sleeping well for weeks, and something's been bothering you long before that. Your phone's been buzzing off the hook when you think I'm asleep, and last night you disappeared in the middle of the night, only just coming home at," he looked at his phone, "3 in the afternoon."

I flinched at his harsh tone. He wasn't yelling but he was furious. I hated this. I hated that I did this to him.

"_Who is he?"_ he repeated, his fist slamming down on the table.

I straightened my shoulders and tried to mentally steel myself for what was coming.

"Dimitri."

He paused, his mind searching through the people we knew before he landed on the right one. "My ex-secretary's _boyfriend_?"

"Yes."

"What the fuck, Rose?"

"I'm so sorry." I started to cry then. It was cowardly of me to do so, but I couldn't help it. _I had really fucked up_.

"You're_ sorry_? You cheated on me with a taken man and that's all you have to say?"

It was. I didn't know what else I could say. Nothing would undo what I'd done. Nothing would soften the blow. I had cheated on him and I _was_ sorry. I was sorry that I hurt him.

"How could you?"

"I don't know…" I really didn't. Adrian was great to me. He had treated me the way I deserved to be treated, how I had wanted to be treated my whole life. He had done nothing wrong. I was happy with him. I could've continued to be happy with him.

There was only one reason I could come up with to explain why I was able to do what I had done.

He wasn't Dimitri.

"Was I that shitty of a boyfriend that you needed to cheat on me? And with someone you barely know?"

"No, of course not!" I cried, my heart feeling incredibly heavy. He deserved an explanation. It was way too late, but he still deserved to hear it.

…

When I finished explaining _everything_ to him, he stood from the table and grabbed his phone, throwing it angrily across the room. It banged against the wall loudly before falling to the ground broken.

He grabbed the beer bottle next and thrust it in the same direction.

"Your ex shows up and you didn't tell me until after you've already fucked him?"

I flinched at his harsh words, but didn't move an inch. I deserved everything that was coming my way.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

I had no reasonable answer. Nothing would ever suffice. "I don't know."

"I thought you loved me enough to tell me the truth!"

"I thought so too." I stumbled over my words as his face grew even more pained. "I do," I corrected.

"_Unbelievable._" He scoffed. "Was this _all _a lie? Did you ever even love me?"

Tears kept raining down. "Of _course_ I did, Adrian. I couldn't fake that."

He finally sat down again, burying his face into his hands. He shoulders shook as he began to cry too. When he looked up, his tear stained eyes tore me in two.

"Then why?"

In a stupid move, I tried reaching for his hand across the table but he ripped his out of reach before I got the chance.

"Nothing I say will ever be reason enough. I'm sorry, Adrian. Truly. You've been amazing to me. You did _nothing _wrong. It was all me. It's all my fault."

I broke down even more, hating myself.

We lived together. We loved each other. He had helped heal my heart and here I was going back to the man who had helped break it in the first place.

Maybe I would regret this one day. Isn't that how these things usually went? The girl foolishly goes back to the man who broke her, leaving behind a good guy who loved her right, only to realize later that it was a mistake.

I could see it for what it was, for what it looked like. But there was something in me that told me this was the right thing to do.

Even if Dimitri and I didn't work out, I still needed to end things with Adrian because he deserved someone who could never dream of doing this to him. Someone who wasn't me.

Adrian shook his head, then put it back into his hands. We sat there together for what seemed like a lifetime.

I wanted so badly to hug him and tell him everything that I felt, but nothing could ever convey how sorry I was. Besides, he would never forgive me anyway. I wouldn't forgive me.

Finally, I stood from the table and walked into our bedroom. I started pulling things from the drawers in the dresser that held our clothing.

As I moved on to the bathroom, Adrian joined me, his eyes bloodshot.

He reached around me and into one of the cabinets. As he pulled out a pack of cigarettes, I tried to hide my shock. I'd never seen him smoke before. He popped open the lid and then shut it a moment after. In that moment, I saw the pack was not new. In fact, it was almost empty.

He muttered miserably. "Guess you aren't the only one with secrets."

He slipped the pack into his pocket before he left the room. A moment later, I heard the front door slam shut.

Sinking down to the floor, I began sobbing again.

…

I sniffled and wiped my eyes for the millionth time as I waited patiently for the door to open.

I had just rung the bell so I knew it would take a moment. I hadn't texted before to let her know I was coming so I knew she might be busy.

It started to drizzle as the door swung open, revealing Lissa in a pair of sweats and a tank.

She smiled happily when she noticed it was me but then her face fell when she took in my state.

"What happened? Come in." She looked up at the clouds after ushering me in and then closed the door.

We sat at her kitchen table over a cup of coffee as I explained what had happened over the past 24 hours.

She was noticeably unhappy with me, but stayed quiet until I was done explaining everything. A few more tears fell down over the course of my confession, but not nearly the same amount as when I was with Adrian. I figured my eyes had no more tears to give. I was all dried up.

When I was done, she was quiet for a while, soaking it all in.

The best I could hope for was that she could forgive me, that maybe she could see how distraught I was and why this was the path I had chosen.

She was friends with Adrian too, so it would be hard. I knew that, but she was my friend first. I hoped that would be enough.

"You should've broken up with him before you went back to Dimitri." Her voice wasn't accusing or harsh. It was soft and understanding. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"I know. I should've done a lot of things differently."

She nodded in silence.

"Do you hate me?"

She regarded me compassionately. A small smile graced her pink lips. "No, Rose. I'm disappointed in you, but I don't hate you."

"I kind of hate me…" I trailed off, laughing humorlessly.

"Love makes us do crazy things sometimes." She paused. "Remember when I showed up to Christian's job because I thought he was cheating on me?"

I chuckled, remembering how furious she was that day. Turns out Christian was only neglecting her because he was nervous about asking her to move in with him.

"Yeah, I do. It's hardly the same though."

"I know, but what I'm saying is, I can understand why you did things the way you did. And I could see just how stressed you were over all of it. it was really taking a toll on you. I hope making this decision can give you some peace of mind. I don't approve, but I get it."

"You do?"

She nodded and then looked down at the bags I'd brought with me.

"Do you need a place to stay for the night?"

I followed her gaze. "No," I admitted sheepishly. "I'm going to stay with Dimitri."

Lissa got a strange look on her face. "Oh…Are you sure you aren't moving a little too fast?"

I had considered this before coming to her house. I'd thought about it as I was driving back to my—Adrian's apartment.

"I'm sure. Dimitri's the one for me." Despite everything, I smiled, thinking of the future ahead. I chose to believe it would be filled with happiness. "He always has been."

Lissa smiled too. "I don't think I've ever seen you this certain of anything."

"It's going to take some work, but I think he and I will be just fine."

"When this all blows over, and I've forgiven you, I'd like to meet him."

I nodded, accepting that she was still upset despite her kindness to me. I had turned our friend group on its head and she had a right to be mad at me for that.

"I'd like that." I paused. "And I'm sure he would too."

She smiled softly. "And I'll ask Christian to keep an eye on Adrian too. I'm sure he could use a friend."

Graciously, I grabbed her hand and squeezed. "Thank you. I wanted to ask, but I didn't know how… I still care about him."

"I know."

...

Shutting the door quietly behind me, I placed the loose key onto the table beside the door and set my bags down.

The lights were off except the bedroom so I went that way.

Hours had passed since I left and I wasn't sure if Dimitri would be awake or not so I moved quietly through the house.

In the hall just outside the bedroom, I stopped at the sight of a photo hanging on the wall. I smiled automatically when I realized which one it was.

The photo was of Dimitri and I, a couple months into our relationship. I was grinning ear to ear as he held me in his arms, hugging me from behind for the photo. His chin was resting on my own head.

I remembered being so unbelievably happy then. I could only hope that amount of happiness was in my future too.

The smile remained on my lips as I travelled the rest of the way.

Dimitri was sitting up in bed, propped up against the headboard with one arm behind his head. The other was holding a paperback.

_Just like old times..._

I collapsed into the bed, ignoring the amusing look he gave me for just a second. I wanted to imagine this moment was normal, like we had never broken up and I was coming home after a long day at work.

He set the book down and then sunk down into bed along with me.

I laughed.

"So this is it, huh?"

He raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"This is how it's going to be for the rest of our lives?"

A wide grin spread across his lips. I think he was worried I'd change my mind.

"Yes, Roza, it is."

I turned onto my back, mirroring his position, and then sighed happily before getting down to business. We needed to talk about a few things and now was as good a time as any.

"I know that look," Dimitri said.

"Hmm?" I raised an eyebrow at him curiously.

"Something's on your mind. Out with it."

I laughed at his tone of voice and then sighed. "We need to talk about a few things."

"Look at you being all forthcoming. You've changed." His voice was playful and charming but it still stung a tiny bit. I was as much to blame for the derailing of our love those years ago.

"Thanks for noticing," I teased back, choosing not to let any hard feelings fester. His comment was innocent so there was no need to take it in a negative way. "I'm serious though."

"I know. "

"Did you end things with Tasha?"

He nodded swiftly. "I did."

"How did things go with Adrian?"

"Bad. Really bad, but that was to be expected. I really hurt him..."

"But-?"

My gaze met his, surprised that he'd been able to figure out where I was going next with my thoughts.

"...but it was the right choice. It was for the best. I loved him. I still do, but it wasn't the same. He deserves more than I can give."

We fell into a quiet comfortable silence as he pulled me closer to him, wanting to protect me from my inner distress.

…

The next morning I woke to the feeling of utter bliss as Dimitri's palm gently caressed my cheek. He whispered sweet words in my ear.

I shifted so I was closer to him, unable to fight the grin from my face.

"Roza," he started, his voice soft with an edge of nervousness.

"Good morning," I whispered happily, nuzzling my cheek into his warm skin.

"Roza," he repeated.

Sensing the serious tone to his voice, I stopped and then lifted myself up on an elbow to look at him. There was something in his eyes I couldn't quite place. I had a feeling of deja vu but couldn't say where I'd experienced this before.

"I know this is new. Well, not new, but us trying again is new. I just got you back." He paused, running a hand down my back before holding me firmly against him. "I wouldn't want to do anything to jeopardize that. It's just—" He paused, looking conflicted. I decided whatever it was that he wanted to say would be better out than in, especially if it was bothering him this much, even if he was worried about it.

"What is it, Dimitri?"

He eyed me warily and then turned on his side, reaching over to his bedside table. He opened the drawer then pulled out a tiny velvet box.

My stomach sank, but I kept my mouth shut. _I would not ruin this. I would not ruin this. Not before it even began._

"I bought this for you years ago."

Suddenly, it all clicked. Why this felt familiar. Why I had a feeling of deja vu moments before.

"You tried to give it to me that day..."

"Yes."

He popped open the lid and I released a huge breath. It was beautiful. Glistening just inside the velvet encasement was a silver band perfectly styled with an array of diamonds.

"I considered returning it a couple of times after we broke up, but I never could and I think it's because a part of me always knew that we'd be here one day."

He shut the box tearing my eyes away from its sight. We locked gazes.

"You were the one for me then, now, _forever_." He held my hand, pressed it to his lips gingerly. "I know I've pushed you into many things. I won't push you into this."

"Okay…"

"But I want you— no, I _need_ you— to know that I plan to marry you, Roza. I plan to make you mine and I plan to settle down with you. This ring belongs to you as much as my heart."

"Dimitri…"

He shushed me with a kiss. "Before you say anything, let me finish. I did things right the first time around. I was preparing to ask you for months. I even told your dad."

"You did?" My eyes started watering. I urged him to continue, wanting to learn something new about my father, something I hadn't known before.

He nodded. "He gave me a hard time. Wouldn't give me his blessing without a lot of convincing."

"That sounds like him." I chuckled, wiping a lone tear that escaped. "Were you able to convince him? I mean, did he get back to you before—I mean…"

"He did."

I was speechless as I dealt with this new information.

"Like I said, I won't push you into this. I wouldn't dream of it. I want you to decide when you're ready. I just wanted to make my intentions known."

He started to put the box back into the drawer, but I stopped him with a hand. He raised an eyebrow as he eyed the tight grip I had on his bicep.

"Let me see it again?"

He was slow with his movements but eventually brought the box closer. He reopened the top.

Reaching into the container, I took the ring and held it between my fingers. It was exactly my style, like it was custom-made _just_ for me.

Without regard to his questioning gaze, I slipped the ring onto my finger and moved it side to side before closing and opening my fist. I tested it out for a few moments before deciding I liked how it felt.

"Okay," I nodded and gestured to the box. "You can put it back now."

He did as he was told and then turned back to me, his eyes begging me to explain.

"Roza?"

"I'm saying okay. To the ring, to you, to everything you just said." Beat. "I'm not saying I'm ready to get married tomorrow or the next day or the next, but_ someday_. A long lasting, lifetime of this," I gestured to our surroundings, "with you."

The love he had for me shone brightly in his eyes. He pulled me in for a deep kiss and then released me.

"Are you sure?"

Grinning back at him, I thought about everything that had happened in my life up until now. I'd struggled through many tough situations in my life. I'd been hurt, I'd hurt others.

I didn't know exactly how it would end or how I'd fight my way through the chaos of a mess I'd created of my life in America. Would we stay? Create a new life here in the world of opportunities or would we go back to Russia where our love began? I couldn't say for sure. I had no answers for most of the questions in my head, but one thing was for sure.

I wanted to figure it out with Dimitri by my side.

I pulled him in for a kiss, this one slow and sweet.

"Yes, Dimitri. I love you and I'm _sure_."

_**End of Part III**_

* * *

**A/N: **There you have it, folks! I hope you enjoyed this three-shot. This was my favorite part to write, especially the scene where Rose and Dimitri reconnect. Please let me know what you think. If you have anything comments or questions, feel free to PM me or leave a review!


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